Blind Faith - Part One

Dressage rider Rey Skywalker has Olympic dreams, but when an automobile accident derails her career, it will take the determination and persistence of her trainer Poe Dameron to get her back in the saddle.

Rated Mature for references to suicide.

“Breathe!”

Rey Skywalker felt air expel from her lungs as she heard the command from her trainer. Immediately, her tense back and shoulders relaxed and she felt BeeBee relax as well. She had a tendency to hold her breath when she anticipated difficult movements, and fortunately her trainer could tell from his position on the ground.

“Deep in the corner!” Poe Dameron called out as she reached the corner of the arena. BeeBee was on high alert, his ears forward, as she subtly directed him into the turn. “Set him up,” came another command. She straightened the big chestnut horse and they headed diagonally across the arena. “Now!” Poe demanded, and Rey responded by cueing BeeBee with her right heel, lifting up her left hand ever so slightly. BeeBee effortlessly ‘skipped,’ changing leads. “Stride, stride, now!” Poe continued. Rey cued for the other lead and BeeBee skipped back. Across the diagonal they went, Poe calling out directions, Rey following them, BeeBee responding to her aids as he skipped down the arena, changing the lead leg every three strides.

When they reached the corner, Rey realized she was once again holding her breath and let it out in a rush before she got caught. She was pretty sure Poe noticed, but as she turned BeeBee into the corner, all he said was “Perfect!”

Rey couldn’t stop the huge smile from forming on her face. That kind of compliment from Poe Dameron was rare indeed.

“Let’s end on that high note,” he said, his voice sounding a bit rough. “Let him stretch and cool down.”

Rey nodded, then directed BeeBee into a large circle. She squeezed her buttocks and thighs ever so slightly, and BeeBee responded by slowing down and bringing his head forward. Rey let the reins slide out of her hands, allowing him to lower his head and stretch his neck and back. Dressage worked horses just as dancing worked people; it was strenuous and a nice stretch after such intense exercise not only felt good for the horse but was good for their physical well-being. As Rey cued with her seat muscles again, asking BeeBee to trot, she looked over at her trainer.

He had moved to the gate and was sitting down in the chair he kept there. He usually taught most of his classes from that chair, setting it in the middle of the arena, but Rey was his most advanced student, and he preferred to be able to move around the arena with the aid of his cane as he watched Rey and her mount closely. Some days he seemed comfortable doing this, others he did not. Today, he was not.

Poe Dameron had been Rey’s idol for years. She had started following his career five years earlier, when she and BeeBee had just been getting started in dressage training. He and his big black Trakhener Dark Odyssey (D.O. or Dee for short) had helped the United States win team gold at the Olympics, then they had gone on to win the individual silver medal. Both had been firsts for the United States in Dressage, a sport that had been dominated by European countries for years. Poe Dameron had not only become an international equestrian icon, but because of his good looks and charming personality, he had become the obsession of many a young horse-loving girl.

Then tragedy had struck. Poe was hit by a drunk driver while training in Florida for the World Equestrian Games three years ago. His spine had been damaged so severely, most doctors said he wouldn’t be able to walk again. But Poe had proved them all wrong. Within six months, he was back on his feet, thanking several physical therapists and horses; he had started riding again before he could walk, and he claimed that activity had helped him recover faster than if he had stayed on the ground.

Despite his amazing recovery, he was still not, and probably would never be, completely well. He still went to PT twice a week and used a cane to walk most of the time. He rode as often as he could, knowing the movements his back made while riding a horse at a quiet walk was some of the best PT there was, but now that he was teaching so much, he didn’t get as much time to ride. And he refused to take pain meds during the day, saying he needed to be alert at all times while working with ‘crazy horses and their crazier riders.’ He had been looking at Rey when he had said that, but the glint of humor in his eye let her know he didn’t mean the comment as an insult.

Rey knew he didn’t mean it. She had already ridden with three trainers in her six years with BeeBee that never hesitated to criticize her feisty, neurotic, emotional Thoroughbred. Every one of them had complained that she would do so much better with a horse actually bred for Dressage, that she had too much talent to waste on a failed racehorse with imperfect conformation. Poe had been the first trainer to really want to help BeeBee become as great as Rey knew he could be. He had told her from day one that while he thought she could advance faster and go farther with a different horse, he could tell that her bond with BeeBee was strong and that her joy was in making him the best he could be over any advancement for herself.

Rey had found BeeBee as a four-year-old when she was only fourteen years old. She had been riding schooling horses all of her life and had finally talked her father into letting her get her own horse. An off-the-track Thoroughbred was about as cheap as you could get, but you also ran the risk of physical problems, mental problems, and bias from the dressage community. Rey had spent most of the next five years with Amilyn Holdo, a well-respected trainer who lavishly praised Rey and her talent, but refused to accept BeeBee as a potential superstar himself. When Rey learned that Poe Dameron had taken over a barn just ten miles from her home in Jakku and was beginning his own riding program, Rey didn’t hesitate to apply. It really shouldn’t have surprised her that he accepted her as a student without any question; she and BeeBee had already proven themselves at the lower levels, placing high in almost every show they entered in the area. Though Rey had been a nervous wreck upon first meeting her idol, Poe had been so open and welcoming to her and BeeBee that it hadn’t taken long to feel comfortable with him.

Too bad her crush had not abated. If anything, it had only gotten worse in the year she had been riding with him.

Bringing BeeBee down to a walk, Rey let him circle the arena a couple of times, watching as Poe painfully stood and headed back toward the barn and his office, where she knew a heating pad awaited his back. She had learned very early on that he did not like people showing sympathy or pity for his condition, though he did let his friend and barn manager Finn help him when things got really bad. Rey often found herself doing subtle things to help him like moving his chair closer to where she knew he wanted it or making sure everything he might need for a class was within reach so he didn’t have to get up to retrieve it. She always did these things quickly and while his back was turned, but she often caught Finn grinning at her.

She rode BeeBee to the arena gate and dismounted, then led him back to the barn. While Poe employed several people to do barn work and groom, Rey handled BeeBee mostly herself. Other than feeding and cleaning his stall, the only staff member to handle him was Finn, who turned him out every morning in the small pasture with D.O. and a couple other geldings; though Dee was a stallion, he was a kind, quiet horse and preferred the company of others to being alone. Rey came and rode or worked BeeBee every day but Sunday, and she still came out then just to spend time with him out in the pasture. BeeBee tended to be grumpy with people he didn’t know or like, but he liked Finn and he tolerated Poe, so they were the only two that handled him other than Rey for the most part.

Rey took her mount into the barn and proceeded to take off his tack and groom him, carefully rubbing out the sweat marks from his dark chestnut coat, then she put him in his stall, making sure he had plenty of hay; Finn would feed him his grain later in the evening when all the other horses in the barn were fed. Giving her horse one last hug, she made her way to the office.

Poe was on the phone, which disappointed Rey as she had been hoping to sit and talk with him for a bit. She may not stand a chance attracting him as a potential girlfriend, but she still enjoyed being his friend. However, today it looked as if he would be busy for a while. He frowned and shrugged at her as she peeked in, mouthing ‘sorry.’ She just smiled and gave him a little wave, whispering, “See you tomorrow.”

After he nodded and grinned at her, she turned, waving to both Finn and his girlfriend Rose, who also worked at the barn. “Have a good night, y’all,” she called, and they waved and smiled back at her. As she got into her car, she realized how exhausted she was. Fortunately, it was Friday, and her class for this evening had been cancelled, so she was done for the week. Working a part-time job at her dad’s law office in the morning, spending afternoons at the barn, then taking accounting classes at night made for a busy week. But she could sleep in tomorrow, then come out and take a long trail ride with BeeBee. Maybe Poe would join her on D.O. She could only hope.

Rey stopped at a red light, her mind wandering as she imagined she and BeeBee finally reaching Grand Prix level, the highest level in Dressage and the level they rode at in the Olympics. Poe was sure they could do it, but he never pressured her or her horse. His faith in them was enough to encourage her and keep her going, even after long weeks like this one.

The car behind her honked and she jumped, realizing the light had turned green. She stepped on the accelerator and the car moved into the intersection. She saw something out of the corner of her eye and turned her head to the left. The last thought she had before the pickup hit her broadside was that it was red in color.

And then everything went dark.

******

Poe looked at the clock on the wall next to his office door and leaned back in his chair. Four o’clock, and still no Rey. Granted, it was Saturday and her day off, but unless she was out of town (which was rare), she was always at the barn in the afternoon, even if only to clean tack or read a book out in the pasture with the horses. And she was never this late. He wiggled his back against the heating pad in his chair, relieved to not feel the sharp twinges he had been experiencing yesterday. In fact, he felt good enough to ride and had been expecting to this afternoon, hoping to head out with Rey and BeeBee, who almost always went hacking on Saturdays when they weren’t showing.

He decided he should maybe head out on his own, knowing a quiet ride would only help his back, when Finn wandered in.

“I wonder where Rey is?” he asked. He looked at Poe. “She didn’t say anything yesterday about having other plans today, did she?”

Poe shook his head. “Not to me, but I was on the phone when she left.” He shrugged. “She probably would have mentioned it to you, though.” Rey had become good friends with most of the staff at the barn. She claimed she didn’t have any real friends, as most of her fellow dressage riders tended to look down on her because of her horse… and the fact that she beat them and their six-figured warmbloods more often than not with her $700 Thoroughbred.

“I wonder if she finally said ‘yes’ to that guy that was asking her out,” Finn mused.

Poe felt his back tense up. “What guy?”

Finn shrugged. “She was telling me the other day about a guy in her Ethics class that keeps asking her out,” he said. “She said he was nice and funny and it’s been a long time since she’s dated anyone, so she was considering it.”

Poe didn’t know what to say. He wanted to do the right thing and comment on how he was glad Rey was getting out and enjoying herself away from the barn, that she was finding companionship outside of the horse world, but he would be lying. So, he simply nodded. “Oh,” he breathed.

Finn was looking at him with narrowed eyes. He tilted his head and continued. “Of course, I’m sure she wouldn’t have to think twice if you asked her out.”

Poe’s eyes widened and he looked at Finn, feeling panic surge. “Uh-uhn,” he shook his head. “You know very well I don’t-“

“That you don’t date students,” Finn interrupted. “I know, I know!” He sighed. “But it’s not like you’re teaching school and she’s underage.” He folded his arms in front of his chest. “I know plenty of other trainers who dated and even married their protègès,” he continued. “Hell, Debbie McDonald married her trainer.” McDonald was a former Olympic dressage rider and current coach and Poe had ridden under her watchful eye when he competed in his Olympic games.

“And Bob was recently accused of molesting two of his students when they were teenagers several years ago,” Poe argued.

“No one can accuse you of that!” Finn pushed. When Poe started teaching, he had made it a policy that he was never alone with minors, which was easy as busy as his barn was. “Besides, Rey is not a minor!”

“She’s still almost thirteen years younger than me, Finn!” Poe was starting to get angry. He had long ago come to terms with the fact that not only was Rey his student but she was far too young for him. It didn’t matter that he had fallen hopelessly in love with the hazel-eyed beauty very early on in their acquaintance. Her humor, her intelligence, her talent. Some man was going to be a lucky son-of-a-bitch someday, but it wasn’t going to be him.

Finn waved his hands at Poe. “Big deal!” he griped. “She acts like she’s ten years older than she is,” he continued. “And she’s already in love with you,” he added softly.

Feeling his heart speed up a bit, Poe denied Finn’s claim. “She has a crush on me, Finn. Big difference.” He grimaced. “Do you know how many of my students have a crush on me? It’s almost mandatory for young equestrians to fall for their trainers.”

Finn shook his head, a small smile on his face. “It’s more than a crush, mate,” he said. “I just wish you both would wake up and realize that.”

Poe gave his friend a glare just as his cell phone began ringing. Sighing, he picked it up, noting that he didn’t recognize the number.

“Poe Dameron,” he answered.

“Mr. Dameron, hello,” a woman’s voice said. “My name is Leia Organa, I’m Rey Skywalker’s aunt.”

Poe instantly stiffened. Leia Organa was well known, being one of their state senators, but the fact that she introduced herself to him as Rey’s aunt made him realize immediately that this wasn’t a professional call.

“Of course, I know who you are, Senator,” Poe responded cautiously. He saw Finn become alert out of the corner of his eye. “What can I do for you?”

“Well, I’m actually calling you for my brother, Luke,” the woman continued. “He texted me just a short time ago when he remembered you and BeeBee.” She paused, taking a deep breath. “Rey was in a car accident yesterday on her way home from the barn.” She said it quickly, firmly, but Poe heard the catch in her voice.

Poe felt his heart flip in his chest and he leaned forward in his chair. “Is she okay?” he demanded. “Where is she?”

“She’s at Sapphire Lake,” Leia continued, speaking of the largest of the three hospitals in the area. “She’s still in the ICU and only her father is allowed to be with her as of right now.” Another pause as Poe sucked in a breath. “She has a broken wrist and a couple of fractures in her hip that will heal just fine, but she suffered some head trauma. Her damn truck is too old to have side airbags,” the woman grumbled. Poe knew that while Rey’s aunt was wealthy, and her father quite well-off as well, she herself lived modestly, working part-time to afford BeeBee and a few night classes, and getting sponsorships from local businesses to pay for her dressage habit. Poe suspected her aunt often quietly supplemented those sponsorships. Rey had been proud to be able to afford her pickup on her own.

“Her brain still has some serious swelling,” Leia continued, “and they are keeping her sedated until it goes down.” Poe heard her sigh.

“Ma’am?” he encouraged her.

“They are worried she may have damage to her occipital lobe, but they won’t know for sure until the swelling goes down and she wakes.”

Poe swallowed. “What does that mean?”

“That part of the brain is in charge of vision,” she continued. Her voice softened. “It’s very possible Rey could wake up blind.”

******

Rey was dreaming. She knew it was a dream because it was too perfect for reality.

She was riding BeeBee out on the old Billings Trail, which used to be a former railway, and it was late in the evening. The sun was low behind her, and the shadows from the cypress and oak trees were long in front of her. The air was muggy and warm, indicating the height of summer. She knew they were riding toward the coast, with a short stretch of beach that allowed horseback riding just a little more than a mile from Yavin Stables. She was riding BeeBee with her fuzzy bareback pad, leaving her shorts-clad legs hanging loose on his sides, and a bitless bridle adorned his head. Poe and Dee were riding alongside them, Poe riding his big black stallion in his Australian stock saddle, his back preventing him from joining Rey in freedom from saddles. He was laughing at something Rey had said, his eyes crinkling up and his smile bright. Rey felt her heart swell; he may never see her as a romantic interest, but his friendship was so very important to her. As much as she loved having him as her trainer and had learned so much from him in this last year, she would happily ride with someone else as long as it meant keeping Poe as her friend.

She heard a strange sound off to her left. Her heart suddenly racing, she turned her head to see a red pickup truck racing toward them.

“Rey!” she heard Poe shout as she screamed.

Her eyes jerked open and she blinked madly, her panic not easing as she looked upon a dark room. Her head was throbbing and she brought her hand up to it, rubbing her temple. She could feel something attached to her hand and she brought her other hand up in an effort to feel it, but that hand felt heavy and weighted down more than it should. She became aware of soft beeping noises, and then the sound of someone breathing close to her. Her nose picked up the scent of her father’s cologne, and she breathed a sigh of relief.

Hospital, her brain quickly registered. She was in an accident and she was in the hospital. Carefully, she felt her left arm with her right hand and realized she had a cast on her wrist, and her right hand apparently had an IV catheter in it. She could feel the push of oxygen into her nostrils and knew she must have a cannula in her nose. Her head felt horrible.

She swallowed and cleared her throat. “Daddy?”

Her inquiry was soft, but he must have heard her. She felt more than heard him sit upright, breathing in deep. “Rey?” Luke Skywalker grumbled, his voice still sounding of sleep.

“You were sleeping,” she croaked.

“Yeah, sweetheart,” he answered, and she heard the smile in his voice. “I was.” He paused. “You were, too, but you’re awake now. I’ll let the nurse know.” She guessed he was pressing the alert button.

“Can…” she started. She cleared her throat again.

“Let me get you some water,” her father responded. She felt a straw touch her lips and she gratefully mouthed it and drew cool water into her dry mouth. When she was done and he took the cup away, she tried again.

“Can you turn the lights on, please?”

There was a long pause.

“Daddy?”

“Honey, the lights are on,” he said, his voice rough.

Confused, Rey immediately brought her hand back up to her face, feeling her eyes. They weren’t covered. She blinked again, several times. “I… I don’t understand.”

“Do you remember what happened?” he asked quietly.

“I was going through an intersection,” she started, squeezing her eyes shut and rubbing her temple again. “The light was green. There was a red truck. It wasn’t stopping.”

“Yeah,” Luke confirmed. “It didn’t stop until it hit you broadside. Guy was texting.” Rey could hear the anger in his voice. He cleared his throat. “Anyway, you hit your head really bad. It caused some serious swelling in your brain, and that’s why you can’t see.”

Opening her eyes once more to darkness, Rey took a deep breath. “But it’s just temporary, right?”

There was another long pause, and Rey felt her heartrate increase again. “Maybe,” Luke finally said. “Most likely,” he added, his voice firm. Rey heard movement off to the side. “Here’s a doctor,” he said. “She can tell you more.”

“Hello, Rey,” a woman said, her voice coming closer. “I’m Doctor Harter Kalonia,” she said. “I’m glad to see you’re awake!” Rey could hear her father move and decided he was probably standing up. There was a moment of silence, and Rey could almost ‘see’ the doctor and her father speaking to each other without words. “I’m going to look at your eyes real quick, okay?”

Rey nodded and felt the woman take hold of her chin gently. She heard a click and felt movement in front of her face, then she heard her father speak. “Her pupils are dilating,” he said, and Rey determined that the click had been a flashlight. “That’s a good sign, right?”

Dr. Kalonia hummed softly as she let go of Rey’s chin. “How are you feeling other than the anxiety of not being able to see, Rey?”

Rey licked her lips. “My head hurts. My body aches, too, but nothing specific.”

“We’ll get some more pain meds on board now that you’re awake,” she said. “The last CT scan we did showed that the swelling was almost gone in your brain, but it will still take time to heal completely.”

“But it will heal,” Luke said, his voice hopeful. “Her sight will return, right?”

“Rey, you have what is called Cortical Blindness,” the doctor continued. “It can be caused by trauma, as yours is, or by diseases such as meningitis or a stroke. In most of those cases, the blindness is indeed temporary, or at least some vision will return with time and therapy, but with an injury as severe as yours, only time will tell.” She paused. “I don’t want to get your hopes up, Rey. There is a good chance your vision will never return.”

Silence. Rey wondered where the panic from earlier was. Instead, she felt numb.

“Aren’t there any treatments or…” her father’s voice broke. “Some kind of surgery or something?”

“I’m afraid not,” Kalonia said softly. “If she recovers some vision, there are therapies that help retrain the brain to use those specific pathways again, but if she cannot see anything, that kind of therapy won’t work.” She sighed, and Rey could tell she was facing her again, and not her father. “I know an excellent opthamologist in Savannah that I want to refer you to. I know he’s dealt with Cortical Blindness in other patients and understands it well. He'll be able to help you through this better than anyone. I’ll make sure you get his information.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” Luke said softly.

“In the meantime, Rey,” Kalonia continued. “You need to rest and let your body heal. Whatever happens, it’s not going to happen overnight.” Rey felt the woman’s hand touch her arm gently. “We should be able to get you out of here in a day or two.”

Rey felt herself nod, then she blinked and felt tears slide down her cheeks.

“Hey, honey,” Luke said, and she could feel him move in close to her. “Let’s think positive,” he told her. “You are strong and your body is strong and you will heal and see again, okay?”

Biting her lip, Rey nodded again. “What if I don’t?” she whispered. “What if I never ride again?” How could she ride if she couldn’t see? How could she ever dream of getting to the Olympics if she was blind? Poe couldn’t train her. He would have no reason to even see her. What would become of BeeBee?

She would lose them both.

“Don’t think that!” her father said vehemently. “You will ride again!”

Feeling tears stream down her face now, Rey asked, “Does Poe know? What about BeeBee?”

“I had your aunt call and update him,” Luke said. “BeeBee’s fine! Dameron’s taking care of him.”

Of course, he was, Rey thought. Poe would take care of BeeBee as long as he needed to. Until Rey was back to normal.

But Rey couldn’t help but feel that normal would never happen again.

******

Six Weeks Later

“God damn it, you fucking asshole!”

Poe’s head jerked around at the shout coming from the other end of the barn. It wasn’t just the expletives being used that got his attention, but the person using them. Finn never swore!

He heard banging and another wordless shout and headed down the barn aisle, panic growing. He knew what stall the yelling was coming from.

Finn suddenly appeared, ducking out of the stall he had been in and sliding the door shut violently. He grabbed his arm and looked at Poe, his eyes wide.

“I am not dealing with him anymore,” he rasped out, dropping the halter and lead rope in his hand on the ground. “We should just leave him out 24/7 so no one has to deal with him.”

Poe’s panic eased, but the throbbing behind his temple didn’t. He reached for his friend’s arm. “Let me see.”

Finn lowered his hand to let Poe look at the fresh bite wound on his bicep. No blood had been drawn, but Poe knew it would bruise badly and hurt like the blazes for a few days. “Get some ice on it,” he told the younger man. “That’ll keep it from swelling too much.”

Finn nodded, then glared at the occupant of the stall. “What about him?”

“Is everyone else out?” Poe asked. Summer was in full swing, and with the increased temperatures and humidity, the daily routine at the barn had changed. Instead of turning the horses out to pasture during the day, they were turned out in the evening and allowed to stay out all night, coming back into the barn around mid-morning to spend the sweltering days inside with fans blowing on them.

“Yeah, he was the last.” He sighed and looked mournful. “He used to like me.”

“He’s bored,” Poe told him. “He’s used to being worked every day.” Giving the chestnut gelding staring at him balefully from inside the stall a frown, he added, “And he’s missing Rey.”

“Aren’t we all?” Finn said softly, then he turned and headed for the tack room and the freezer with various ice packs stocked in it. They were for horses, but everyone here had used them on themselves at one point or another.

Carefully bending over, Poe grabbed up the halter that Finn had dropped on the ground, then reached for the stall door, watching BeeBee warily as he did so. Finn had attached a ‘stud’ chain to BeeBee’s lead rope, a common accessory for Thoroughbreds on the racetrack, but rarely used here in his barn. BeeBee had needed the extra equipment these past few weeks, as he had become moodier and more aggressive. Poe opened the sliding door of the stall and stepped inside, maintaining eye contact with the tall gelding, who was still watching him with a disgruntled look on his face.

As Poe took a step toward the horse, BeeBee suddenly reached for him, mouth open, ears pinned back against his head. Poe was ready and brought up his elbow, angling it so that it hit the horse’s face right behind his nostril, preventing the teeth from grabbing his arm and startling the horse so that he drew his head back, shaking it in surprise and pain. The impact made Poe’s elbow hurt as well, but it was much better than a bite; horse’s jaws had more than twice the strength of most dogs and though they did not have the pointed teeth of predators, their incisors, which were made to cut vegetation, were sharp.

“None of that,” Poe said firmly. “I know you know how to behave like a gentleman, and that’s what I expect out of you.” He knew the horse didn’t understand the words, but he did know BeeBee understood the tone of his voice. Poe had a habit of talking to all his equine charges as if they were human; he’d started as an introverted child, and though he’d grown to be much more outgoing with people, he still conversed with his horses. It was a habit he had shared with Rey, who also chattered to BeeBee and the other horses as if they understood every word.

Keeping his body straight and his head up, Poe moved around to BeeBee’s left side, never taking his eyes off the gelding. Bee stood with his ears half-way back, still looking disgruntled, and eyeing Poe as carefully as Poe was eyeing him. Poe slid the noseband of the halter over BeeBee’s muzzle, reaching a bit to flip the strap over his head (BeeBee was tall and Poe was not!), then brought the strap down to buckle it. BeeBee never moved other than to blink. Poe took the stud chain, a thick chain about twenty inches long, and threaded it up through the halter, wrapping it up over the noseband and bringing it down the other side to clip it back onto itself under his jaw. The noseband of the halter would prevent the chain from digging into BeeBee’s sensitive face but it would still give Poe leverage to control the naughty horse. BeeBee had worn a stud chain all throughout his racing career and knew what it was; usually just putting it on was enough to make him behave and no discipline was needed, but there were days when he tested whoever was leading him. Even Rey had her days of frustration with him, though he was never aggressive with her, just overly playful and rambunctious.

As Poe clipped the end of the chain, Bee opened his mouth and did a half-hearted bite in Poe’s direction. Poe growled, “Uh-uh,” and the horse backed off. Poe sighed. “I miss her, too, buddy,” he whispered. As if he understood, BeeBee’s ears flipped forward for a moment. “I just wish…”

He wished a lot of things. He wished she would come back to the barn. He wished she would answer his calls. He wished he could hold her and tell her how much he cared for her and that he didn’t give a damn that she couldn’t see anymore. Poe clenched his jaw and directed BeeBee toward the door of the stall. He wished he had the guts to go to her father’s house, where he knew she was living now, and bring her back to the barn himself.

He slid open the stall door and led BeeBee out. The thoroughbred walked quietly next to him, his ears and eyes still showing his displeasure, but he made no aggressive moves. As Poe neared the tack room door, he had an idea. He stopped and looked in at Finn who was holding an ice pack on his arm.

“Finn, could you hand me a lunge line?”

Finn did as asked, handing Poe the thirty-foot long nylon line, looking back and forth between his boss and BeeBee. “You sure you want to work him?”

Poe nodded. “It’ll be good for him. I’ll just lunge him a bit, nothing too strenuous, then turn him out. If I do that every day, maybe he’ll settle.” He shrugged. “We’re just gonna have to get used to being without Rey for a while longer. When she comes back, he’ll be ready for her.” He was determined to stay positive.

Finn nodded, his expression sorrowful. “Yeah,” he said softly. “When she comes back.”

With a grimace, Poe led BeeBee out to the covered arena where he would work on a large circle around him, directing the horse’s speed with his voice. It would give them both something to do.

Until Rey came back.

******

Two Weeks Later

Rey sat slumped in the oversized lounge chair, legs curled under her, eyes open but still seeing nothing. She knew a packet of cards sat on the table next to her, cards there were to help her begin to learn braille; her father was attempting to help her, but it was hard to learn when you had no desire to. Her ipod also sat on that table, as well as a bottle of water, but she was tired of listening to music and wasn’t thirsty, though she probably should drink anyway, her body having lost a significant amount of moisture already this morning thanks to her tears.

She had made her decision last night, had informed her father this morning, and now she felt both relieved and even more depressed.

She was selling BeeBee.

There was no way she would ever ride again, and it wasn’t fair to him to just stand ignored in a barn. Poe would find a good home for him, of that she was certain. He would find a rider that was talented and patient enough, and with luck he would remain their trainer. It didn’t matter to Rey if Bee stayed in the area; whether he was at a barn ten miles away or all the way across the country, there was no way Rey would ever see him again, both literally and figuratively.

The eye specialist Rey had begun seeing after she got out of the hospital had informed them at Rey’s last appointment that there was nothing more to do. There had been absolutely no improvement in Rey’s vision for the last two months since the accident; the damage to her occipital lobe was just too severe.

She would never see again.

Rey hadn’t bothered to do much in the three days since that appointment. Other than her decision to sell BeeBee, of course. Which left her mind free to roam with thoughts about how to go about ending her life. BeeBee was taken care of, her father would be better off once relieved from the burden of caring for her, and she had no desire to learn braille or walk with a mobility cane or even get on a waiting list for a seeing eye dog. It was best to just end it all.

The only question now was how?

A knock sounded on her door and Rey winced. One thing she had noticed in the last few weeks was that her sense of hearing had become very sensitive, especially with high-pitched sounds. She was so very aware of the noises around her now.

She ignored the knock, knowing her father would come in anyway whether she answered or not, so she was surprised when he knocked again.

“Rey,” Luke Skywalker said softly from the other side of the door. “You have a visitor.”

Immediately, Rey’s heart started speeding up. No. He wouldn’t. Would he? Would Poe come to argue with her about BeeBee? Her excitement about that prospect competed with dread. She hadn’t showered since the day of her last doctor’s appointment. She hadn’t brushed her hair or her teeth or had even bothered getting dressed since that day. Her sweatpants and cami weren’t indecent, but still, if it was Poe…

“Rey?” Her father called again.

“Uhm,” she replied, taking a deep breath and uncurling her legs from under her, putting her feet on the floor. Should she make a move toward the bathroom? She had learned to maneuver around her room fairly well. But then what? Make him wait while she showered and got dressed?

While she was debating about what to say, the door opened. Her slight hope that it wasn’t Poe was instantly crushed as the familiar and beloved smell of horse reached her nostrils; her sense of smell had also become super sensitive. As she heard his booted footsteps come closer, the even more beloved scent of his soap and aftershave reached her. She closed her eyes, willing the tears that were forming away.

“Rey?” His voice was soft, gentle, and it only made the tears become that much harder to control. She hadn’t heard that voice since the day of the accident, when he had been on the phone as she left the barn, happy about her ride and anxious for the weekend ahead of her.

She took a deep breath and opened her eyes, sitting up straighter in her chair. She swallowed.

“What are you doing here?” Even though she knew the answer.

She heard him take a deep breath. “I think you know.”

Rey readjusted her seat. “It has to be done,” she said quietly. “And I know you’ll find him the perfect home.”

“He’s bit three people, severely, since you left,” Poe said, his voice hard now. “And kicked two more.”

Rey felt her jaw drop in shock.

“It’s gonna be hard to find someone to take him, despite his training.” BeeBee and Rey had been ready to step into the ‘big leagues’ just before the accident. One year at the Prix St. George and Intermediate levels of international dressage, and then they would move into Grand Prix, the highest level. The plan was to have Rey and BeeBee compete domestically for a year, perfecting their rides, then they would travel to Europe for nine months, competing at shows throughout that continent and letting the judges become familiar with them. As much as international judges were supposed to be unbiased, there would always be subjectivity; it was human nature. “It will take years for BeeBee to accept a new partner,” Poe continued.

“Then find someone who can use him as a pasture pet,” Rey said softly. He wouldn’t mind that, she thought. As much as the horse loved being busy and enjoyed the challenges dressage offered, he could settle in doing nothing but eating and sleeping all day.

Poe snorted. “Yeah, right.”

Rey shook her head. “What do you want from me, Poe?” she demanded. “I’m never riding again.”

“Who says?” he snapped back.

“What?”

“Did your doctor say you can’t ride?”

Rey paused, confused by the question. “Poe, I can’t see!”

“Are you physically sound to ride?” Poe continued, ignoring her statement. “Is everything all healed?”

Frowning, Rey nodded. “Yes, but…”

“Then you can ride,” Poe interrupted her.

“Poe…” she started, frustrated.

“How many times did I have you close your eyes while riding?” he asked.

Rey shook her head. “That’s different…”

“No!” Poe again cut her off. “It’s not different.” She heard him sigh. “You may have to do things on the ground differently, but the horse can be your eyes when you’re on his back.” He paused, then said softly. “Fuck. Rey, if I can learn to walk again, you can ride, eyes or no eyes.”

Again, Rey felt shock flow through her at his words. And shame. She felt herself tremble.

After another long pause, Poe continued. “Put some shoes on. I’m taking you to the barn.”

“Poe, I can’t.”

“Yes, you can,” he demanded. “You’re coming if I have to pick you up and carry you myself.”

Rey scoffed.

“Okay,” Poe responded, and she heard him move close to her, bringing one arm around the back of her shoulders and one down near her knees.

“No, no, no, no, no, no!” Rey gasped, pushing him away. “Your back! Don’t you dare!”

He stood. “Then get some shoes on and come with me.”

“You’re not going to let me shower and get dressed?” she asked, her old sarcasm finding its way back into her words.

“Not a chance,” he told her, and she could hear the victory in his voice. “Besides, the horses don’t care.”

“Just give me five minutes,” she argued. “At least let me brush my teeth.”

“Five minutes,” he agreed, and she heard him leave the room, the door closing quietly behind him.

Her heart racing once more, Rey stood and walked carefully to the bathroom, counting out her steps. She brushed her teeth, used the toilet, then quickly brushed her hair and pulled it back into a ponytail, praying it looked at least semi decent. She moved to her closet and felt around for her pair of tennis shoes, then sat on the edge of her bed to pull them on. As she did so, Poe gave a quick knock on the door and walked back in.

She heard him grunt softly. “I was half-way sure you’d still be in that chair.”

She glared at him. Or at least she hoped she was glaring at him.

His amused huff assured her he at least got the gist, then she felt his hand wrap gently around her elbow.

“Let’s go,” he said, his voice sounding excited.

Rey couldn’t help but feed off of that excitement. Suddenly, she couldn’t wait to be with her horse again, even if she couldn’t see him.

She was looking forward to something for the first time in weeks, and she had Poe Dameron to blame.

******

Rey was silent for most of the drive to the barn.

Poe had led her carefully down the stairs of her father’s house and out the front door, taking a folded mobility cane from a grinning Luke as they passed him. The elder Skywalker had called him that morning informing him that Rey wanted BeeBee put up for sale; she wanted Poe to be the agent and she wanted him sold for a fair price. A good home was better than a high price. Poe knew Rey’s $700 track purchase was probably worth close to $50,000 now, and despite his complaining to Rey about BeeBee’s aggression, he was very aware those vices would most likely not keep a hungry rider looking for a talented and experienced mount from buying him.

However, Poe was not going to sell that horse.

He had spent the next two hours reading up on blind horseback riders. Though vision impaired riders were not extremely common in para-dressage, they did exist, and those that rode blind were usually people who had become blind later in life like Rey. He had broached the subject to Rey’s father upon arriving at the house and Luke was all for it; apparently, he was ready to send Rey to a therapist to help with her depression. This morning’s announcement from her about BeeBee had terrified him and when Poe had shown his own disbelief and anger over the phone, he had seemed relieved to find someone else to share his concerns.

Poe assisted Rey as much as he could, not wanting to be too overprotective; Rey had always been very independent, and he was pretty sure that hadn’t really changed too much, despite her handicap. She just needed a reminder that there were things she could still do and do well. He had helped her to the open door of his pickup, but had let her find the running board and pull herself up into the front passenger seat. He left her to her thoughts while they drove the twenty minutes to the barn, wanting her to warm up to any conversation on her own time. Once he had parked in front of the gate to his small yard, he watched her take a deep breath, as if bolstering herself, and then she opened the door and slid out on her own.

He walked around the front of the truck and gently took her elbow again, handing her the folded cane. Wincing, she took it and he watched as she unfolded it and gently tapped the ground in front of her.

“Okay,” he said softly. “Let’s go.” He began walking toward the main barn and Rey followed, tentatively tapping the cane along in front of them. Poe took note of Finn and Rose, who were watching them from the gate of the covered arena off to their right. He had asked that they not approach Rey if and when Poe got her to the barn; he wanted her to be with her horse, first. He was sure there would be a lot of emotions and he knew she would feel far too self-conscious with an audience. They could come see her after things settled if everything went well.

The hot summer sun beat down on them as they crossed the open gravel area that separated his little house from the horse facilities, and he was very aware of how the temperature changed when they stepped into the barn, the shade, fans, and strategically opened doors creating a much cooler environment than the outside. He could imagine Rey feeling the change, as well. She knew this barn like the back of her hand, and she moved forward more confidently on the textured concrete of the barn floor, waving the cane around in front of her rhythmically. A banging could be heard further down the aisle, and Poe knew immediately what stall it was coming from and why. Rey knew, too, and her pace increased. Poe kept a loose grip on her elbow, ready to help her should she need it, but she made a bee-line to the stall in question, almost as if she could see.

As they neared BeeBee’s stall, Poe could see the gelding tossing his head in an impatient manner, his forelock flipping up and down with his movements. Rey reached for the vertical bars that covered the front of the stall and Poe let her go so she could do so without his hinderance. She moved her hand along the bars until she reached the end one, which had the hidden latch. She pulled the bar up and slid the door open, then tossed her cane down on the ground and carefully stepped into the stall. Poe put his hands on her shoulders and followed her in, still not ready to let her go it alone, especially with a horse that had injured more than one person on is staff in the last two months.

But he needn’t have worried. BeeBee immediately dropped his head and shoved it into Rey’s chest, and a sound he had never heard from the horse emanated from his nostrils. It was a soft grumble, a whispered nicker. A gentle and obvious sound of affection. Rey placed her cheek against the gelding’s forehead and wrapped her arms around his face, tears streaming from her sightless eyes. “BeeBee, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” she breathed, one hand coming up to stroke the horse’s jaw and then sliding up behind his ear.

Feeling tears well in his own eyes, Poe stepped back out of the stall. He had bonded with more than one horse in his lifetime, and he knew that if they were allowed to, horses bonded with their people just as much, but he had never seen a connection as strong as this one before. It humbled him and it made him that much more certain he had done the right thing. His plan to get Rey back in the saddle was imperative and he was going to let nothing get in his way.

He slid the door closed slowly, but neither Rey nor the horse moved. He walked to the other side of the aisle, glancing in at the horse in that stall. The bay mare glanced back at him, but then continued to eat her hay, unconcerned. He leaned against the wall to rest his back and folded his arms, content to wait until Rey was done. He heard soft murmuring and the occasional nicker, and eventually he saw BeeBee raise his head and start to playfully nibble at Rey’s arm. It was nothing like the aggressive biting he had been doing, but Rey still pushed his nose away. “None of that,” he heard her say, and he smiled. She had picked up that phrase from him. “I heard you were super naughty while I’ve been gone. I can’t believe you hurt people. Bee, I’m ashamed of you.”

Poe walked back across the aisle once more and leaned casually on the stall door. The horse moved his head to look at him, and he saw Rey also tilt her head in his direction.

“I started lunging him every day about two weeks ago,” Poe started softly. “I’ve been long-lining him, too, about three days a week.” Long-lining, also called ground driving, was like driving a horse who pulled a cart, only there was no cart. The ‘driver’ walked behind the horse, guiding him with long reins. He could get BeeBee to perform several dressage movements this way, but only at a walk. “It’s helped his attitude,” he continued. “But I’m sure it will get much better now that you’re back.”

Rey nodded. “Thank you,” she whispered. She took a deep breath. “I still don’t see how you think I can ride him again.”

“Well, we’re not going to start with him,” Poe told her. “We’re going to start by giving you lunge lessons on D.O.” This meant Rey would ride while Poe lunged the horse in a circle around him. Rey wouldn’t have to worry about directing the horse and could concentrate on her form in the saddle. “We’ll go from there.”

Rey frowned. “You really think I can do this?” Her voice was soft and scarily uncertain.

“Rey, I’m not gonna lie and say the Olympics are still possible,” Poe answered. “But yes, I really think you can ride again. I think you could even compete again.” He paused. “But you have to want it.”

Rey faced BeeBee again, reaching up to rub his ears. The horse dropped his head, closing his eyes in pleasure. Biting her lower lip, she nodded. “Okay,” she finally said. “Do we go back to my regular lesson times?”

Poe shook his head, then remembered Rey wouldn’t be able to see the gesture. “No,” he told her. “I’m not doing this as your trainer,” he continued. “I’m doing this as your friend. We’ll work together in the evenings on my own time.”

He saw surprise flash in her eyes, then she became contemplative. “I suppose this means I’m gonna have to start learning how to live like this, huh?”

Poe felt the tightness in his chest, a tension that he had been feeling since the moment he pulled up in front of Rey’s house, ease. “Yep,” he said, trying to keep his voice light. “You’re gonna have to start living again.” He took a deep breath. “But Bee and I are going to be with you, every step of the way.”

A small smile appeared on her face. She blinked away more tears, wiped them off her face, then nodded. “Okay.”

******

Four Weeks Later

The following month was crazy busy, stressful, and exhausting.

Rey began to work with an occupational therapist from the Savannah Center for Blind and Low Vision three times a week. She learned not only how to comfortably move around her father’s house without trouble, but how to use all the new gadgets she was acquiring, including audible watches, calculators, book readers, and a new phone that responded to voice commands. She learned how to use new computer software and continued her study of braille with the help of her father.

She learned how to use her cane more effectively, going out and about in the neighborhood, including the six blocks to the grocery store, always feeling a low level of panic and wondering if it would ever become second nature to her. A couple of times she broached the subject of getting her own apartment again to her father, but couldn’t deny the relief she felt when he told her to not rush things and that she could live in the house she grew up in as long as she wanted.

Twice weekly, her father drove her to the Center for counseling, one day for a group session, which Rey hated, and another for a private one. It took three visits before she admitted she had been having suicidal thoughts; her psychologist, Dr. Kanata, didn’t seem surprised. “Your life has completely changed,” the older woman said softly. “You’re having trouble believing you will ever enjoy it again. But I believe you can, and I’m going to help you believe it, too.”

The only times Rey believed were the times she was at the barn. Poe agreed to work with her three times a week in the evenings, when the rest of his lessons were done, but he let her know she was welcome at any time. Despite that assurance, Rey only asked her father to drive her out during the times Poe would work with her and on Sunday afternoons, when she knew it was the quietest and there would be few people out and about. Though she didn’t say anything, she felt as if she would just get in the way if she went out at any other time.

Poe organized one of the grooming bays with the rule that everything had to be put back where it belonged so that Rey could find it easy. Under his watchful eye, she became adept at leading either D.O. or BeeBee from their stalls to the grooming bay, and was able to groom both horses without assistance. Poe also made sure Dee’s saddle was in the same spot so she could get him ready to ride by herself, and after every lesson she gave BeeBee a good grooming before he was turned out to pasture for the night. Poe was still working him regularly, though even Finn admitted the horse’s attitude seemed to have improved just because Rey was back.

Poe was having her ride D.O. in his Australian Stock Saddle during the lunge lessons. When Rey complained about it, wishing for her own saddle, he had to remind her that she had not ridden in two months and her body was not going to be as fit as it once was. Though Rey had lost weight since the accident, it had been an unhealthy loss and a lot of it was muscle. After her first lesson, she conceded that Poe had been right and was grateful for the added stability the Stock Saddle gave her.

Rey had gotten lunge lessons as a youngster, and though they were in essence boring, she also understood how helpful they were. While she had natural talent for riding, she knew she could never have gotten as far with BeeBee as she had without having learned so much in those early lunge lessons. Poe told her not to consider this ‘starting over’ as much as ‘rebuilding.’ He said that once her body was once more balanced and secure in the saddle, he would ‘set them free.’

After her lesson and once both D.O. and BeeBee were groomed and turned out, Rey would join Poe on the small screened porch of his little house just across from the barn. It was dark by this point, and Rey always knew that Poe, who had to get up early in the morning, was probably exhausted and ready for bed. But he never pushed to end the evening, and he seemed as content as Rey to just sit and talk as the night insects and birds sang around them. Eventually, Poe would drive her home, and Rey would try her best to muddle through her new life until the next lesson with him.

It was hard not to think about the fact that he was not her official trainer anymore. She was not really his student. She couldn’t get her hopes up that now that he didn’t have that barrier between them he would allow them to become more than friends. Even though their shared conversations, conversations where Rey sometimes found herself telling him more than she told Dr. Kanata, were comfortable and intimate, Poe never gave her any indication that he looked on her as anything other than a friend. And why would he, Rey asked herself? Why would he want a blind woman he would have to help the rest of his life?

Her reasoning didn’t keep her from dreaming, though, that someday he would love her as she knew she loved him.

On this Friday evening, both of them seemed too tired for talk, but even the silence between them was comfortable. Rey was nursing a can of grape soda, her go-to drink after a hot, sweaty day with the horses, and she knew Poe was probably drinking his beloved lime fizz; he had become addicted to it shortly after settling here in Georgia. A native of New York, when he had decided to start teaching after his accident, he had chosen a location in between the two largest equestrian venues in the eastern U.S.: Wellington, Florida and Tryon, North Carolina. Rey had done her best to not give in to the belief that his choice of Jakku, the town she had grown up in, was destiny.

She heard him yawn and smiled, but then felt worry seep into the contentment she had been feeling. “I guess you better take me home so you can sleep.” Though it was Friday, and Poe didn’t teach lessons on weekends, there was a show in Savannah this weekend, and he had three students riding in it.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to pick you up in the morning?” It was the fourth time he had asked if she wanted to go to the show.

Rey couldn’t even stomach the idea. Not only would she not be able to watch the horses as they performed their tests, but the thought of all the pity she would no doubt feel from her former adversaries disgusted her. She had never been able to make friends out of fellow competitors. None of Poe’s students rode at her level, so she was never competing against them, and the riders she did face off with had always seemed jealous of not only her ’cheap’ but talented horse, but her trainer. Poe had not lost any fame since he quit riding, and the fact that he was still single meant he was very much on the radar of many a young rider.

“I’m sure,” she said firmly, then set her can down and reached for her cane, standing.

With a soft sigh, she heard Poe stand and turn toward the doorway that led to the porch stairs. She followed, comfortable enough in her current environment that she had no trouble walking to the door and finding her way down the short staircase. She heard him open the door to his pickup and she moved next to him, feeling his body heat and breathing in the scent of sweat, horse, and him; despite the long, hot day behind them, it was a pleasant smell, and she couldn’t help but pause to take it in.

She felt his hand land on her shoulder and he leaned in toward her. “Are you okay?”

Embarrassed, Rey gave him a quick smile. “Yeah.” She reached for the door and felt her way into the front seat of the truck. He closed the door and made his way to the driver’s side.

The drive was too short and yet too long. Rey felt guilt pour through her once more as she thought about all that this man was doing for her. About all that her father and Rose and Finn and her aunt and…

As she felt the truck brake and Poe put it in Park, she whispered, “I’m not worth it.”

“What?” Poe asked, his voice sharp.

She turned to face him. “I’m not worth it,” she repeated. “Everyone is doing so much for me and for what? You can’t enjoy it. The burden I’ve become.”

“Rey!” she heard him breathe. She heard the click of his seat belt, and then she felt him shift over closer to her. She jumped slightly as she felt his warm, calloused hand cup her cheek. “You are not a burden! To any of us!” She felt tears form in her eyes as his thumb gently caressed her cheek. “Not one person who is helping you is doing it because they feel like they have to. They’re doing it because they love you and want to help you become independent again. Don’t ever think you aren’t worth it.” He paused. “You are more than worth it.”

Rey bit her lip and felt a tear slide down her cheek. She half expected him to wipe it away with his other hand, but instead he leaned closer and brought his lips to her cheek. The softness of his lips was in complete contrast to the roughness of his beard stubble, and she closed her eyes tight, absorbing the feeling. All too soon, he pulled away.

“If the show ends early enough on Sunday, let’s go for a trail ride in the evening, okay?”

Rey sniffled, relieved at the change in subject. “What, you’re going to let me ride on my own?”

“I trust Dee to take care of you,” he said, and she could hear the smile in his voice.

She frowned. “Who will you ride?”

“I have a half-dozen schooling horses to choose from, Rey,” he answered, his tone wry. “Unless you think I should ride BeeBee?”

She tilted her head, contemplating his words. “You know, he might like that,” she said softly. “He loves to go out and about. I’m sure he misses it.”

Poe was silent for a long while. “We’ll see,” he finally said. “Your father’s at the door,” he added, humor lacing his voice.

She huffed. “What am I? Fifteen?”

Poe laughed. “I’ll see you Sunday.”

She nodded. “Sunday.” She could make it until then. She reached for the door handle, grasping her folded cane in her left hand.

“Goodnight, Rey.” His voice sounded wistful.

“Goodnight.”

******

It was five o’clock before Poe got away from the horse show. It was still going on when he left, but his three students were done and packing up to head home themselves, all of them having had a successful weekend, so he felt he could slip away, too. He did it without notifying anyone, especially the mother of his youngest student, Bobby Bliss. The woman was very focused and was constantly hitting on Poe and asking him out; he had only agreed once, going out for coffee one quiet afternoon. That one ‘date’ had assured him the Zorri was not the woman for him, though she didn’t seem to agree.

It was a little more than an hour drive back to Jakku, and when he was about fifteen minutes from town he called Rey’s cell phone, informing her he was on his way to pick her up for their trail ride. She seemed startled, as if she had expected him to forget, but then laughed. “I’m already at the barn,” she told him. “It’s too lovely an evening to stay home.”

Grinning, Poe responded. “I’m on my way!”

Once there, he found Rey in the grooming bay with D.O. She was quietly brushing his tail, her unseeing eyes focused somewhere off to her right, her mind obviously elsewhere. However, as he rounded the corner, she turned toward him and smiled. He couldn’t be sure if she heard him, smelled him, or something else. Something more esoteric.

“So, where are we going?” she asked without any preamble.

“Do you feel up to a ride to the beach?” he asked. While it was only a little more than a mile away, the trail was occasionally narrow and low tree branches made riding a challenge for a rider with sight. “I promise to let you know when to duck.”

Her grin got bigger. “I haven’t been to the ocean since…” Her grin faded, but her eyes were still bright. “You know,” she finished, shrugging.

“Let me get BeeBee ready,” he told her.

Her smile became wistful. “You’re gonna try him, huh?”

“Are you still okay with that?”

She nodded. “Yeah.” She licked her lips and gave another little half-shrug. “You do realize that nobody but me has ever ridden him since he came off the track?”

“Really?” Poe said in wonder. “I guess I knew you’d done most of his retraining yourself, but I didn’t know you’d done it all.” He paused. “He’s not gonna kill me, is he?”

She laughed softly. “Not unless you try and hurt me.”

Poe did not think she was exaggerating.

Thirty minutes later, he wondered if he had made the right decision. BeeBee would not settle into a walk, instead prancing and tossing his head so much Poe was almost ready to get off and lead him the rest of the way. The first part of the trail was an easy ramble along a former railway into the forest of cypress and pine, and Poe almost missed the trail that drifted off of the road on the right because he was so distracted by BeeBee’s antics. He had not been afraid while on the back of a horse since he was a child, but BeeBee made him nervous. Not only was the Thoroughbred big, powerful, and quick, but he was probably one of the smartest horses Poe had ever known, and that wasn’t necessarily a good thing. Poe was very aware that with his own back the way it was, a fall from BeeBee could put him back in a wheelchair.

Rey had been quiet for most of the ride, her expression focused, and Poe knew she was becoming agitated having to pay attention to her own mount and yet also intent on her horse’s misbehavior. Her occasional, “BeeBee, knock it off!” didn’t seem to work. The horse knew she was there, but he also knew she wasn’t the one on his back.

Poe started breathing exercises to relax his body, laughing at himself as he realized he was doing what he always told his own students to do in class when they became tense. He laughed out loud when he heard Rey say softly, “Breathe.”

BeeBee finally responded to his rider’s softness and relaxation and settled, just in time for them to reach the narrowest part of the trail. Poe was able to focus more on Rey than on his own mount, and directed her quietly through the trees. Instead of just ducking under the low branches, she let herself lay over Dee’s neck, not sitting up again until Poe told her she was in the clear. As they rode into a more open area and Rey was able to stay upright, she turned to him, a huge grin on her face. He felt his breath catch, remembering the night before and his unplanned kiss on Rey’s tear-stained cheek.

He couldn’t regret the action, especially as she had seemed to welcome his touch. While a part of him still refused to admit he had any more feeling for this woman other than friendship, the other part was anxious to explore what more may be possible between them. He had never felt this in tune with a woman before, had never wanted to spend so much time with someone. It didn’t hurt that her obvious trust in him made him feel special in a far different way than his success and fame as an international rider had. It also humbled him, and made him determined to never lose that trust.

Soon, the trees thinned and sand dunes replaced the loamy soil of the forest. The horses moved slower as the footing became deeper, and Poe rode up next to Rey again. She was focused once more ahead of her, her beautiful eyes wide, a small smile playing at her lips. She turned toward him briefly. “I can hear it,” she said, and he knew she meant the ocean.

They rode over one last dune and the Atlantic Ocean in all its glory was before them. They continued to ride toward the water. It was almost low tide, and soon the horse’s feet hit the firmer sand that the receding waves left behind them. Poe turned BeeBee north and he softly spoke to his companion. “This way.”

Her head tilted toward him and she directed Dee to the left. For several minutes they rode along the shore, the waves pushing and pulling on their right, the sun low in the sky on their left. Rey had closed her eyes and was breathing in deep.

“Tell me what you feel,” Poe said suddenly. “What you ‘see’.”

She smiled slightly and opened her eyes. “I smell the freshness of the air, and the staleness, too. Salt and fish and seaweed. It’s strange, but the humidity almost seems less intense here, as if the ocean is sucking the moisture out of the air.” She paused. “The sound of the waves and the distance we rode on firm ground tell me we’re at low tide or close to it. And I can hear gulls. And a group of godwits,” she added, turning her head to indicate the group of shore birds behind them. “I know the sun is low because it’s cooling off,” she continued. “But it’s far from cold.”

“I don’t think Georgia in July could ever be cold,” Poe chuckled.

“It must have been a big change from New York,” Rey said, her expressive face turned toward him.

“It is very different from New York,” Poe conceded. “But I had spent so many winters in Wellington training, that it wasn’t a big change for me.”

“Do you miss snow?”

“Sometimes,” he said. “Especially around Christmas.” He paused. “But mostly, snow makes me sad.”

“Why?” she breathed.

“It reminds me of my mom,” he said softly. “She loved the snow. And she died during the winter, so my last memories of her are surrounded by white and cold.”

“How old were you?” Rey asked.

“Eight.”

She nodded. “I was five when I lost mine. I don’t have any memory of it. One day she was in my life. The next she wasn’t.”

They were silent for a while, then Rey asked, “Your dad never remarried, did he?” Poe knew she had met his father once, shortly after she had started riding with Poe and Kes had visited the farm his son was so proud of.

“No,” he said. He remembered his father dated a few times when he was in High School, but nothing serious had ever come from it.

“My dad never did, either,” Rey told him. “Maybe we should get them together,” she added, a mischievous smile on her face. “They can commiserate over their shared loneliness and the trials of being a single dad.”

Poe laughed. “Well, my dad is planning on visiting at the end of the summer, so maybe we should.” He shook his head. “I’ve been trying to get him to retire down here, so he doesn’t have to deal with winter anymore.”

They rode on for a short time longer, then Poe called a halt. “We’ve reached the boundary.” The stretch of beach where horses were allowed only extended for a mile. He considered Rey for a moment. “How about we switch mounts?”

Rey turned to him in surprise. “Really?”

“BeeBee seems pretty darn quiet right now, and he’ll probably only get more relaxed with you on his back. I don’t see why not.” In reality, she could probably handle a sharp move from the energetic horse better than he could, even without seeing. She had always been able to foresee what her horse was going to do by feeling the tension in his body, and as she slowly regained that confidence, he knew she would probably be able to do so even better now.

She was grinning and nodding her head excitedly, anxious to be back on her own horse once more. “I’d like that,” she told him.

Poe swung off of BeeBee, grateful he had chosen to ride in the old western saddle that he used to teach timid riders until they became comfortable enough to ditch the saddle horn and stiff stirrups. He stood at Dee’s head and held him as Rey dismounted, then led Rey over to BeeBee’s left side. She mounted without any trouble, and Poe realized with only a bit of dismay that he didn’t need to shorten her stirrups; her legs were as long as his.

“Geez,” she mumbled as she settled in the saddle. “You know how long it’s been since I’ve ridden in one of these?”

“Twenty years?” Poe joked as he moved to mount Dee.

“Ha ha,” Rey answered. “Maybe fifteen.”

Poe laughed.

“Poe,” Rey said as she turned BeeBee, who seemed inordinately happy now.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

******

If Rey had thought she was in love with Poe Dameron before her accident, there was no question she was now. His words and his actions and his singular devotion to not just helping her ride again, but his spending time with her away from the barn, made her seriously consider that he might be looking at her as something other than a student and a friend, something she had never allowed herself to believe before. Fantasize about, yes. But she never really expected it to come true.

As she continued on her journey through blindness, she began to take joy in things other than being at the barn, and while she knew a lot of that was just simply because she was adapting and feeling less fear and pressure, she had to admit a lot of it was thanks to Poe’s constant support. While going out to be with him and BeeBee was still the highlight of her day, she found herself spending more time doing things with her father. By nature, both she and Luke Skywalker were introverted people and even before her accident neither of them liked to do much in public. But they began a new tradition of going out to eat together every Thursday night. Part of this new habit was just so Rey could practice being in public in a controlled environment, but it was also a way to just spend time together. Other than watching movies, which Rey couldn’t really do anymore, they had no real shared interests. Luke was not a horseman, often bemoaning the fact that Rey got her ‘horsiness’ from her mother, Mara. Nor did he really like being outdoors, which baffled Rey, because she knew her father had grown up on a farm. Eating out together proved to be an opportune time to just be together and talk about nothing and everything.

Audible became Rey’s new favorite site, and when she wasn’t at the barn, she was listening to it almost constantly. She still visited with Dr. Kanata once a week, but she was able to bow out of the group sessions. Dr. Kanata had told Rey honestly that she needed to keep up with her ‘horseplay,’ as she called it, because it was doing far more for her mental wellbeing than anything else in Rey’s life. She asked about Poe often, and Rey had finally admitted her crush. “I don’t expect anything more,” she told the psychologist. “I don’t think I could stand to lose his friendship, so I can’t expect anything more.”

“It sounds to me like more might happen whether you expect it or not,” the Doctor said, and Rey could hear the smile in her voice. “I think you should take a chance, Rey,” she continued. “Not a big one, but throw out some feelers. It may be he’s thinking the exact same thing you are, and won’t make a move because he doesn’t want to lose you as a friend.”

Rey pondered the woman’s words. Granted, there had been a lot more touching happening between her and Poe recently, more than was really necessary for him to help her. What if Dr. Kanata was right and Poe wanted more but didn’t think Rey did? Or maybe he still thought of Rey as a student, and despite romantic feelings toward her, wouldn’t cross that line? How could she let him know she wanted him to make a move, that it wasn’t inappropriate?

After their beach visit, Poe let Rey continue to ride BeeBee. Their first two lessons together were on the lunge, which Bee thought was exceedingly boring. He told them so by giving several small bucks, or crow-hops, while cantering. They made Rey laugh out loud. BeeBee often did them in his younger years when he was frustrated with something; to her, BeeBee’s actions meant he was back to normal.

Poe moved their lessons into the covered arena on Friday. At first, Rey felt the familiar panic of being asked to do something new, but Bee took care of her. More than once, she felt him swerve in slightly as they traversed a circle, and she knew she had made the circle too big and had come too close to the arena wall. Instead of warning her, Poe would just do a slight cluck with his tongue when Bee ducked in, easily audible to Rey as Poe now wore his wireless microphone. After the third time Bee saved her leg from hitting the wall, she stopped, frustrated.

“Isn’t there a way you can tell me I’m circling too big before we almost hit the wall?” she asked Poe, discouragement filling her.

“Nope,” he said simply. “You need to learn to feel the distance, Rey. You need to be able to tell from the bend of his body how large that circle is going to be. I can’t help you do that, and BeeBee is the only one who can tell you when you’re wrong.” He paused. “You’ve ridden twenty-meter circles on horseback since you were a child, and on BeeBee for the last several years. You can feel when it’s correct. Stop thinking and worrying about if you’re doing everything right. Just ride.”

Rey took a deep breath and nodded. She asked Bee to move forward again and they continued on with the lesson. Poe kept them at a walk and trot, not wanting to go too fast on their first lesson free of the lunge, and Rey didn’t complain. Despite the fact she had been riding three days a week, she could already feel her body getting tired and sore; the combination of riding and controlling her horse’s direction and speed while keeping her body as still as possible was the kind of workout people who didn’t ride horses would never understand.

Finally, the hour had come to an end, and both she and Bee were sweating heavily. While the summer was always hot and muggy, the humidity had been extra high today, and thunderstorms had moved through earlier in the afternoon, which left the air feeling fresh but heavy this evening.

Poe walked at BeeBee’s head as they left the arena and travelled across the gravel to the barn. He stayed close as Rey dismounted, loosened the saddle girth, then led Bee inside the much cooler barn. All the horses had already been turned out for the evening and the staff had left for the night so it was very quiet. As usual, Poe stayed close as Rey took off Bee’s saddle and bridle, then led him to the wash bay to hose the sweat off Bee’s body. He never helped, but was always near if she needed it, and that fact comforted her as much as it made her feel guilty. She hosed off Bee, using her free hand to feel where she was spraying the water, and got almost as wet as the horse, but it felt good. She slicked the water off of his body, then nodded in Poe’s direction, ready to take him to pasture, knowing Bee would roll as soon as he got out there and get all muddy. But horses needed to be horses; she would just give him an extra good grooming tomorrow.

Poe walked with her to the gate to the south pasture, and Rey could hear the unevenness of his gait.

“You’re hurting tonight,” she said simply.

“A bit,” Poe responded.

They reached the gate and Poe opened it for her so she could lead Bee in and take off his halter, then he took her elbow gently to lead her back out and closed it behind her. She heard him snort.

“Is Bee rolling?”

“Yep.”

She smiled and was about to ask if there was anything she could do to help his aching back when she heard a car pull onto the property. She turned her head toward the sound as Poe softly hissed, “Great.”

“Who is it?” Rey asked.

Poe gently grasped her elbow and turned her back toward the barn. Her cane was in the grooming bay where she left it when she rode. “Zorii Bliss,” Poe answered her.

Great, Rey thought, echoing Poe’s sentiments. Zorii had started bringing her son to ride with Poe last December. Though she acted pleasant enough, Rey had always felt that the woman didn’t like her. She was several years older than Rey, petite, with large green eyes and a girl-next-door countenance that made her seem far more kind than she really was. Though she had never said anything outrightly rude to Rey, she had commented with more than a few subtle insults toward Rey more than once. It didn’t help that she was beautiful and funny and rich.

She was perfect for Poe.

“Hi,” she heard the woman say brightly as they neared her car. “I… uh… didn’t think you gave lessons this late? I didn’t realize you were riding again, Rey.”

Rey could smell the woman’s perfume now, and knew she probably looked as good as she smelled. She didn’t hear Bobby, Zorii’s son, who was normally a chatty little boy, so she knew the woman was most likely alone. On a Friday night. Her chest suddenly tight, Rey immediately understood why Zorii was here.

Embarrassment washed over her and she became very aware of how she probably looked: old breeches and boots, dirty camisole with no bra, no makeup, her hair pulled back in a messy braid with helmet head, and smelling of horses and sweat.

“Rey’s not really a student anymore,” she heard Poe tell the woman. “I’ve been working with her and BeeBee on my own time.”

Rey nodded emphatically. “But we’re done, now,” she said a little too quickly. “And I’m ready to go home.”

“Rey?” she heard Poe start. “Don’t you want..?”

“In fact, I can call my dad and he can come get me so you can go do whatever,” Rey continued.

“That sounds like a great idea,” she heard Zorii say, and she could hear the smile in the woman’s voice.

There was silence for a moment, then Poe’s grip on her elbow tightened. “No,” he said firmly. “My plans tonight include driving Rey home, then turning in for the night.” He sighed. “I’m sorry, Zorrii. It’s been a long week, so if you came out here to see if I wanted to go out, the answer is no. The answer will always be no.”

The silence that followed was deafening, and the only thing Rey could hear for a while was her own heartbeat. She was pretty sure Poe could hear it, too.

Finally, Zorii spoke, and there was venom in her voice. “Well, I never took you for someone who went after the younger kind, especially your own students.”

Poe’s voice became angry, but controlled. “Rey is not a student and she is well above the age of consent, Ms. Bliss, so if you plan on spreading rumors, please remember to include my strict guidelines in regards to minors, which I know you read and signed before bringing Bobby to ride here.”

“I would never do that, Poe,” Zorii said immediately, and Rey could hear what sounded like true contrition in her voice. “I’m sorry. It’s just…” she sighed. “I really like you and…” Another pause. “I’ll go now. Both of you have a good night.”

Rey stood, slightly stunned as Zorii left. What just happened?

“Do you still want to go home, or do you want to stay and relax for a bit?” Poe’s voice was soft.

Still feeling a bit numb, Rey managed to mumble, “I’d like to go home.”

“Okay,” Poe answered, his own voice almost inaudible. “I’ll get your cane.”

Within minutes, she was in his pickup and they were on the way back to her father’s house. Though she had felt fine after her ride, her head was throbbing now, and she rested it on the cool glass of the passenger side window as Poe silently drove. She could feel the tension coming off of him, but she didn’t know what to say to ease it. Had he just been defending his position as a trainer with his words, or had he also been defending a possible relationship with her? How did she ask? Should she ask or should she just pretend nothing had happened? Obviously her first thought that Zorii had come to Poe’s house in the evenings before tonight was wrong, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t seeing someone else. But then why was he always so comfortable having her stay after her lesson on Friday nights? Why had he seemed upset she hadn’t wanted to stay tonight?

She felt the truck stop and knew she was home, but she didn’t move. And neither did he.

She cleared her throat. “Poe, I really wish you would let me start regular lessons again. I’m sure my dad would be perfectly fine paying for three sessions a week like before, and then you’ll have your evenings free again.”

“No.” His voice was sharp. “I’m not taking you as a student.”

Rey rubbed her forehead and frowned at him. “I don’t understand. I’m riding in the arena on my own horse again. Why can’t it go back to the way it was before?”

“Because, I…” She heard him take a deep breath. “Because if you’re my student again, I won’t be able to do this.”

She heard the seat belt click open and felt him slide across the bench seat toward her. Once more he cupped her cheek with one hand and she felt his face come close, his nose brushing hers. He paused, and Rey held her breath. He was asking for permission, she thought. Swallowing nervously, she nodded.

And then Poe Dameron kissed her.

******

When Poe’s lips touched Rey’s, he almost felt like he was in a dream. How many times had he fantasized about kissing this woman? How many times had he found himself staring at her lips, wondering if they were as soft as they looked? Never had he allowed himself to go so far as to believe he would ever actually find out the answer to that question. But here he was, in the front seat of his beat-up old pickup, quickly determining that not only were they as soft as they looked, but that Rey seemed just as eager as he was to learn more.

Despite her apparent willingness, he moved slow. He had no clue how experienced she was, either in kissing or more. She was young, but she could have had a serious boyfriend in High School. She could have had one or more flings in the years before he met her, though he doubted that; as serious as she was about her riding, and as introverted as she had been even before her accident, he couldn’t see her having a physical relationship with someone she wasn’t emotionally attached to. Virgin or not, he wasn’t going to push her; this could be the beginning of something amazing, and he wasn’t going to blow it.

Rey pulled back slightly, and Poe dropped his hand from her cheek, watching her carefully. She gave him a soft smile, then leaned back into him. Feeling relief flow through him, he met her lips once more, this time adding a bit more pressure to the kiss. She responded by tentatively parting her lips. Her action spurred him on. He cupped the back of her head, opening his own mouth and letting his tongue tease her, testing the waters. Her soft breathy moan was all the encouragement he needed to push farther, letting his tongue sweep into her mouth, gently stroking her bottom lip. When her tongue met his, he couldn’t stop the growl that emanated from his throat, and he began to taste her in earnest.

She slid forward, closer to him, bringing her arms up and placing her hands on his shoulders, her fingers gripping his shirt slightly. He pulled his mouth back, sucking in air and watching as she did the same, but when she immediately moved toward him again, he met her once more, sinking into another kiss even more sensual than the previous one. Though his brain felt like it was turning to mush, he couldn’t help but recognize that not only was she becoming more sure of herself, but that she was following his lead and learning from him. This indicated that she wasn’t very experienced, but was a quick learner.

He pulled back, letting his hand drop down to cup her neck. He was getting far too aroused; he hadn’t made out in a vehicle since he was a freaking teenager! He brought his forehead in and rested it against hers, watching as her sightless eyes opened, her gaze dazed and her pupils blown wide; he had learned very early on that because it was her brain that was damaged and not her eyes, they still responded to stimuli the way seeing eyes would. She was just as turned on as him.

“Let me take you out,” he said suddenly. This could not go any further. Not yet. He needed to do this right. “Let me take you out to dinner tomorrow night.”

She pulled back, looking surprised, and licked her lips. Was it his imagination, or did they look more swollen than usual? “Like a date?” she asked, her voice husky.

He chuckled. “Yeah, a date,” he confirmed. “What’s your favorite restaurant?”

She huffed a bit of a laugh of her own. “In Jakku?” Jakku wasn’t large, and non-fast food restaurants were few and far between.

He shook his head. “In Savannah,” he clarified.

“I love Pearle’s,” she said wistfully, speaking of a popular seafood restaurant located on the river. It wasn’t too far from Amilyn’s farm, where Poe knew Rey used to ride before she moved BeeBee to Yavin Stables. “I haven’t been there since…”

‘Before the accident,’ he finished in his head. “Let me take you there tomorrow night,” he told her out loud. “Please?”

Still looking a bit stunned, she whispered, “Okay,” and nodded. She frowned, and Poe had the sudden urge to bring his finger up and rub the crease between her eyebrows away. “Is this really happening?” she asked.

“Do you want this to happen?” Poe countered, feeling a bit of panic creeping in.

She nodded again, this time much more vigorously. “Oh, yes!” she said emphatically.

Poe grinned, then glanced up at the house visible outside the window behind her. Luke Skywalker was standing at the door, arms crossed, a stern silhouette. He was too far away for Poe to read the older man’s expression, but Poe could imagine. “Uh-oh,” he muttered.

“What?” Rey asked, her voice ragged, as if she was still trying to get her breath back. Poe understood the feeling.

“Your dad is watching us.”

A soft smile played on Rey’s lips. “Well, he’s gonna find out sooner or later. Might as well be now.”

Poe looked at her, her eyes bright and shining in the dim light from the dash. Even after the long hot day behind her, she was still the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Damn, he must have been bewitched by her. “I’ll pick you up at six tomorrow night, okay?”

She nodded again. “Okay.”

Refusing to wonder what Luke might be thinking, reminding himself that before her accident Rey had been living on her own and answered to no one, Poe leaned in to kiss her once more. She responded with enthusiasm, chasing his tongue with her own and reaching up to run her fingers through his hair. He shivered, her eagerness only exciting him further. He forced himself to pull back, breathing hard. “Go, before your father kills me.”

Rey laughed and bit her lower lip. She felt on the seat between them for her cane, which she had dropped at some point, and then reached for the door behind her. “Tomorrow?” she sighed.

“Tomorrow.”

Poe slid back over to the driver’s side and watched carefully as Rey walked confidently along the walk toward the house, her cane tapping along merrily in front of her. He saw Luke say something to her, his gruff expression easily visible now that he had stepped onto the porch, and she responded with a huge smile on her face, totally not disturbed by his surly attitude. She turned briefly in his direction and waved, then turned back and stepped into the house. Luke didn’t even look at him as he followed his daughter inside.

Yeah, I know, Poe thought. I’m too old for her. I’m supposed to be her trainer, nothing more. She’s far too good for me. Yada, yada, yada. But as he put the truck in gear and started his drive back home, he couldn’t erase the smile from his lips, or the memory of her kiss.

He didn’t care what anyone else said. Not Zorii. Not Luke. Not anyone else in the close-knit dressage world that might start gossiping about them. Nobody but Rey mattered.

Poe Dameron was in love.

******

It was shortly after four P.M. on Saturday when Rey began panicking.

She had spent the last twenty hours in a blissful daze, oftentimes finding herself rubbing her lips and staring off into space, remembering the sensations from Poe’s kisses the night before. So, it wasn’t until she started thinking about getting ready for her date with him that a certain realization hit. She had no clue how to get ready without her vision, and she sure as heck wasn’t going to ask her dad, who had been less than enthusiastic after witnessing her and Poe making out in a parked pickup in front of the house, to help.

She needed a female friend, and unfortunately, she was sadly lacking in them. While she could name several women who she showed with, and others that she worked with or knew from her night classes, they could only be classified as acquaintances. A handful of them had sent cards or flowers to her hospital room after her accident, but not one had followed up to see how she was doing since. She wasn’t showing, or working, or going to classes anymore, so she was of no consequence to them. Even Rose, who she adored, was only a ‘barn friend,’ not someone whom she had ever spent time with away from Yavin Stables.

But Rose was the only one she could think to call for help, and bless her heart, she responded without hesitation, showing up at Luke’s house within fifteen minutes of Rey’s call. Luke had grudgingly showed Rose to Rey’s room, where the smaller woman began to excitedly chatter about the upcoming evening.

“Oh, my God, Rey!” she said as she started setting up. “Do you know how long Finn and I have been waiting for this? I know you don’t know, but Finn has been pushing Poe to ask you out since before your accident! I am so stoked this is happening!”

“Really?” Rey asked, flabbergasted. “I had no idea he looked at me that way, even back then.” She knew, after Poe’s reason for not wanting to take her on as a student again, why he had not made a move all those months ago, but it was still thrilling to think that he had been as attracted to her as she had been to him. And it was also somewhat comforting knowing that his interest hadn’t started because he felt sorry for her after her accident.

“Okay, so you need help with makeup,” Rose started, settling down to the business at hand. “And how do you want your hair? Oooh! Maybe we should get you dressed, first.” Rey heard her move over to the closet. “What do you want to wear?”

Rey had put some thought into this one. “There’s a dark green sundress in there,” she told Rose. “I don’t think I ever had a chance to wear it in public. It’s nice without being too formal.”

She heard Rose sort through the clothing hanging in her closet, most of which Rey hadn’t worn since before the accident. She usually settled for shorts and camis at home, changing into breeches to ride and a skirt to go out with her father. Dresses, suits, and fancy footwear had been ignored. “There’s a pair of low-heeled black sandals in there, too.” She winced. “Maybe not those. I can’t imagine what my toes look like.”

“Do you want me to paint your nails?” Rose inquired. “It won’t take long.”

“I…I couldn’t ask that of you,” Rey stuttered.

“Why not?” Rose demanded. “We’ve got time for me to do your fingers, too! Rey, we are going all out, here. Not that Poe needs to see you all gussied up; I think he thinks you’re pretty spectacular covered in horse slobber.”

Rey giggled.

“But let’s knock his socks off, shall we?”

After a moment, Rey nodded. “Okay.”

The next hour was probably one of the most amazing hours of Rey’s life. She had never had a girl friend to really open up to, and by the time Rose had painted her fingers and toes (Rose told her she had chosen a dark purple color for both), helped her dress, and did her makeup (“please keep it simple,” Rey had told her), the two of them had shared several stories about the men in their lives, good and bad.

“I never expected to find Finn,” Rose was saying as she brushed Rey’s hair. “He’s just… I don’t know how to describe it. He just gets me.”

Rey smiled. “I know what you mean,” she said softly. “I’ve felt that about Poe from day one. I was so nervous to meet him, having watched him compete for years, and he was just so… real. I didn’t see ‘Poe Dameron the Olympic medalist,’ I just saw Poe, a normal guy and fellow horse lover.” She shrugged. “I never believed he would see me as more than a groupie with an Olympic dream."

"Oh, he always saw more than that,” Rose told her. “Though I do think that dream was his, too. He was always saying how you and BeeBee were the real deal and he wanted to see you both get there.” Rey heard her sigh. “I’m so sorry you won’t.”

Rey blinked fast, pushing back the tears that still came so easily. “Me, too,” she whispered. “But, I’m riding again. And loving it. And I’m about to go out on a date with the most handsome man I’ve ever known.”

“Lord, he is sexy, isn’t he?” Rose giggled.

“Rose!” Rey exclaimed, laughing. “You are taken!”

“Hey, just because I’m committed to someone else, doesn’t mean I can’t look.” They giggled again. “Hair up or down?” Rose asked.

“Down,” Rey said without hesitation. “I never wear it down at the barn.”

Just as Rose set down the hairbrush Rey heard the doorbell ring. She stiffened and her heart started racing. “Is it six?”

“Almost,” Rose said. “He’s early as usual,” she grumbled good naturedly.

Rey took a deep breath, trying to slow her pulse the same way she did before she rode a test at a horse show. “I don’t know why I’m so nervous,” she whispered. “It’s not like I haven’t known him for over a year.” She stood, realizing with some amusement that even the low heels she was wearing made her feel off balance. “How do I look?”

“Amazing,” Rose told her softly. “Has he ever seen you dressed up?”

Rey shrugged. “Well, I used to wear sundresses to the competitor parties,” she answered. “And there was Suralinda’s wedding.” Suralinda was a fellow dressage rider who used to train with Poe. “But I never stayed long and I don’t think he even looked at me.”

Rose snorted. “I’m sure he did,” she said. “He just made sure no one saw him looking at you.” She touched Rey on the elbow. “Let’s go.”

Nodding, Rey headed for the door to her bedroom, grabbing her folded cane from its spot on the dresser next to the door. She heard Rose follow behind her.

As Rey descended the stairs, she didn’t hear any voices, and she wondered if maybe they had been wrong and it wasn’t Poe at the door. But then she heard movement and the scent of Poe’s soap and aftershave reached her, stronger than normal. For once, there was no smell of horse. She couldn’t help but smile; it appeared he had cleaned up for her as much as she had cleaned up for him.

“Rey,” she heard him say, his voice breathy. Then, with a little more firmness, “Hey, Rose.” There was a bit of a question in his greeting.

“Hey,” Rose answered from behind her.

Rey reached the bottom of the stairs. “Rose helped me get ready,” she explained.

“Well, thank you,” Poe said to the other woman. “You did a great job, Rose,” he continued. “You look stunning, Rey.”

Rey’s heart started racing again. “Thank you.”

“Okay, get out of here,” Luke suddenly said. While Rey had been aware of his familiar presence, she had pretty much forgotten he was there. “You guys are making me sick.” Though he sounded gruff, Rey recognized humor in his voice, and she was grateful; she really didn’t want her father to be against this relationship.

“Should I have her back by a certain time, Mr. Skywalker?” Poe’s voice held more than a little sarcasm.

“You know what, I should probably say ‘yes’,” Luke griped. “But no.” Then he amended, “Just so it’s before dawn.”

“It will be,” Poe answered immediately. “This time,” he added quietly.

Rey felt her face heat as she heard Rose giggle madly behind her.

Luke grumbled and Rey heard him turn away back toward the living room. She bit her lip to keep from laughing out loud and turned toward Rose. “Thanks again, Rose.”

“Any time,” the woman answered, a smile in her voice.

She felt Poe grasp her right hand gently and he lifted it to tuck it under his elbow. “Ready?” he asked, his voice soft and deeper than normal.

She nodded, unable to speak. Every time he had helped guide her in the past, he would take her elbow, leading her that way. But this time he let her take his arm, just as a woman who could see would do if he proffered it. It made her feel feminine and protected without feeling like she was being directed. He wore a long-sleeved shirt of some soft material she loved to touch, and she could feel the heat of his body underneath it. She leaned into him, allowing her breast to press lightly against his arm, and almost immediately she felt his lips close to her ear. “Let’s go,” he said softly, and he started walking. She noticed right away that she couldn’t hear his cane. She followed, keeping her own folded cane in her left hand, knowing she probably wouldn’t need it much tonight. She had a feeling Poe wasn’t going to let her go until he absolutely had to.

Her heart was racing again, but she felt a difference from what it had been doing before. Her nervousness had been replaced by excitement.

******

Poe looked over at Rey as she sat silently in the passenger seat of his Mustang. Poe rarely brought out the 2005 convertible, which he had bought as a junker shortly after settling in Jakku, working on it in his spare time. The black muscle car with orange highlights was his one non-horse oriented expense, and he didn’t often let people know he had it. Rey had known, having seen him working on it one late Sunday evening several months ago, but she had still seemed surprised when he helped her sink down into the front seat rather than climb up in his pickup. The smile on her face as she settled in the seat had pleased him, but since then she had been quiet, casually playing with her folded up cane.

Music was playing softly on the radio and he knew it was a type she liked, but he was pretty sure it wasn’t going to keep them both amused for the whole hour drive to Savannah.

Poe cleared his throat and Rey turned her head toward him. He hated small talk, and he knew she did, too, but he had to do something. “What did you do today since you didn’t come to the barn?”

“Uhm, I actually worked on the computer,” she told him. “I’m learning how to get back to working at my dad’s place,” she said. “Temporarily.”

Poe felt joy and excitement fill him. Other than her riding, Rey had shown no real interest in anything from her previous life. “Why only temporarily?”

“Well…” she paused and gave a look in his direction. “I haven’t told anyone, but I started writing again.”

“Again?” he asked. He hadn’t known she wrote.

Rey nodded, her expression excited. “Yeah, I wrote a lot in High School,” she told him. “Won awards and contests and got A’s on everything.” She took a deep breath. “I really want to try and make money doing it, so I’m writing a novel.” She shrugged. “I know the odds of it getting published are pretty slim, but I won’t know until I try. Right?”

“Right,” Poe agreed. “What genre?”

“Mystery,” she said. “With a little romance, of course.”

Poe grinned. “Of course.”

There was a moment of silence, then Rey spoke. “What are you wearing?” she asked softly. “Tell me what you look like tonight so I can get a good picture in my head.”

Poe was startled by her request, but then realized how much it made sense. “Well, I’ve got on a nice pair of black slacks, black oxfords, and a white button down.”

“It’s soft,” Rey told him. “Your shirt.”

“Yeah,” Poe agreed quietly.

“And you shaved,” Rey added.

“I… how did you know?” Before she could answer, he realized how. “You can smell my aftershave, can’t you?”

Rey smiled, nodding. “Yeah. You’ve never had a heavy hand with it, but it’s more noticeable now.” She huffed a laugh. “I don’t smell horse, though.”

Poe looked at her. “I supposed I always smell like horse, huh?”

“Well, I usually see you at the barn, so yeah,” she nodded. “That’s not a bad thing, you know? I love that smell.” She looked down, her expression coy.

“Well, guess I should have brought the truck,” he told her. “Despite the name, the Mustang isn’t very horsey.”

“I actually feel pretty special,” Rey told him, looking up again. “You don’t bring her out very often, do you?”

“To be honest,” Poe told her. “I don’t think anyone has been in that seat since I got her.”

Rey grinned, then tilted her head. “How do I look?” she asked. “I mean, I know what you said earlier. But what do you see? Describe me.”

Poe was silent for a while, glancing at her once more. Her expression was earnest, curious. He licked his lips. “The green of your dress brings out the green in your eyes,” he said. “And you fill it out nicely, where a month ago it probably would have looked baggy on you. You look fit and healthy.” He paused. “I can tell you have makeup on, but Rose did a good job in making it subtle. I can still see your freckles, and that’s important.” Rey laughed softly and he could see color in her cheeks. “Your hair is soft and wavy and wearing it down makes you look younger, which in the grand scheme of things probably isn’t a good thing.” Rey snorted at that. “You look… different,” Poe continued. “But you’re still Rey.”

She was silent for a moment, then looked away pensively. “I’m sorry about the age thing,” she told him. “I’m sure they’ll card me and then watch you like a hawk to make sure you don’t offer me your drink.” Poe knew she was still several months away from the legal drinking age.

“Oh, I won’t be drinking,” he told her.

“Why not?”

He shrugged automatically, even knowing she couldn’t see it. “I haven’t had alcohol since the accident.” He glanced at her, not surprised to find her expression curious, encouraging him to go on. He sighed. “I know logistically the accident wasn’t my fault,” he continued. “I was in a crosswalk and had the right of way. But I was mildly drunk that night.” He paused, focusing on the road in front of him. “I often wonder if I had been sober if I would have seen the car sooner. Been able to get out of the way.”

Rey was silent for a moment. “You know, just before I was hit, my mind was wandering. I was in La-La land. The car behind me had to honk to get my attention when the light changed, then I just accelerated without looking. And…” she shrugged.

Poe frowned. “You had the light,” he argued. “You shouldn’t have had to look.”

Rey faced him, her eyebrows raised, not saying anything. Poe realized that she knew that though he had been on foot, he had had a walk signal when he stepped into the road before being hit. That he shouldn’t have had to look, either.

“All right, all right. Point taken.”

She smiled softly. “That’s why they’re called accidents, Poe. There’s no rhyme or reason to why they happen. Unless you think it’s fate.”

“Do you?”

She became serious. “I don’t know that I do,” she whispered. “I’ve always believed in free will. But…” she looked toward him again. “If you hadn’t had your accident, I might never have met you. And if I hadn’t had mine, we probably wouldn’t be going out on this date together. So… fate, destiny, chance…” She shrugged. “Who knows?” She looked away suddenly. “And I think too much.”

Poe grinned. “I like it,” he told her honestly. “I like to hear what you’re thinking and why.” He took a deep breath. “Rey, you are one of the most down-to-earth people I know, and yet you’re a dreamer, too. I love how you always keep me guessing.”

Rey cast her eyes down, biting her lower lip, but smiling as she did so.

The rest of the drive was spent in comfortable conversation, mostly about horses, and when they reached the restaurant, Poe once more helped her take his arm and they walked into the building together. To any one paying attention to them, they would look like any other couple out for the evening; no one would notice that Rey couldn’t see. While he felt no shame about being seen with a blind woman, he knew Rey would be more comfortable knowing she looked ‘normal.’ He knew he felt ‘normal’ without his cane, glad that his back was behaving tonight.

He helped her settle into her seat, then sat across from her, casually helping her pick up the menu. “Do you want me to read it to you?” he asked after the hostess left. “Or do you know what you want?”

She smiled a soft smile. “I appreciate the effort, Poe, but people are going to figure out eventually that I can’t see.”

“Let ‘em wonder,” he told her gruffly.

Her smile got bigger, then she licked her lips. “Well, let’s start with the calamari appetizer,” she said. “Then when you’re ready to order, I’ll have the Shrimp Three Ways.”

“Is that what you always get?” Poe asked, amused.

“Not always,” she told him, a sly smile on her lips. “I like to keep people guessing.”

Poe laughed out loud.

******

Part Two