She Makes Him Laugh

Rey feels jealousy for the first time as she watches Poe with his new lover, knowing she had her chance and threw it away.

Rated Mature for mild sexual content and angst.

The Galactic Government Solutions Conference was in its third day, and Rey Skywalker was more than ready for it to end. It wasn’t that she wasn’t enjoying the atmosphere here on Naboo, nor was it because she didn’t feel as if she was both learning and contributing to the various seminars held throughout the day. The reason she was so anxious to leave was all because of the two people sitting at a table on the other side of the cafeteria from her in the conference center.

Despite the crowded cafe, Poe Dameron’s laugh could be heard from across the room. His head was thrown back and the crinkles around his eyes were more noticeable as he let his enjoyment show. The petite blonde woman he was sitting with was smiling gleefully back at him, her expression pleased that whatever she had said had made him laugh so hard.

Swallowing harshly, Rey looked away. She clenched her jaw and squeezed her hand into a fist, trying desperately to stop the tears that had already formed in her eyes from falling. She should leave, but the group in the hall were all on their mid-day break from the day’s meetings, and she needed to be here to represent the future of the Jedi. She would just have to suck it up.

Finn suddenly slid into the seat across from her. While he was attending the same conference, he hadn’t needed to attend all the meetings, and she hadn’t seen him yet that day. Just last night he had told her he would be taking Rose on a tour of Theed that morning, but that he would be back for the meeting on housing for the former First Order personnel that needed time to reevaluate their futures after the war’s end. Finn and Janah were working directly with many of those people, helping them find the families they had been stolen from as children. While the Empire had had no trouble finding people to support their cause decades ago, the First Order had used brainwashing and threats to find their ‘volunteers.’

Rey took a deep breath as Finn looked at her, not meeting his eyes. Unfortunately, he could read her like a book.

“What’s wrong?”

Almost without thought, Rey glanced at Poe, who was still smiling but was now leaning in toward his companion. They were holding hands on the table top. Rey looked away immediately as she said, “Nothing!” But it was too late.

She looked at Finn, who was now watching the couple. “They’re cute together, aren’t they?” Finn asked casually. “I’m surprised she would go for a guy like him.” ‘She’ was Peppa Dellia, the head administrative assistant for the newly elected Chancellor Sweeten.

Rey shrugged, trying for nonchalance. “He’s a war hero. He’s handsome, he’s charming, and he’s famous. I’m sure she thinks she’s won the lottery.”

Finn was staring at her now, a question in his eyes.

To keep him from asking it, Rey spoke first. “I’m actually surprised he’s seeing anyone,” she said. “I always thought you and he would…” she tilted her head teasingly.

Finn gave her a soft smile. “Yeah, well, it almost did,” he said wistfully. “But Rose just wouldn’t let go of my heart. She was just so stunning.” He paused. “Actually, she stunned me, but that’s beside the point.”

“Ha, ha,” Rey said dryly. She loved that Finn had finally settled with Rose. He was so intense sometimes, so focused on his work with the brainwashed orphans of the First Order, that she had worried he would let it consume his life. Rose kept him grounded.

Finn laughed. “Besides, Poe was in love with someone else, too.”

Rey straightened. “He was?”

“Yeah,” Finn said. “Never found out who, but apparently it didn’t work out. Maybe he or she died in that last battle.” He shrugged, wincing. “Anyway, I’m glad he found someone. I know he wants kids someday.”

Rey felt as if her heart was twisting inside her chest. The idea of pretty little Peppa pregnant with Poe’s baby... She looked down, her fingers toying with the napkin next to her plate of tailring wrapped kyryll tenderloin, which she had hardly touched.

“Rey?” Finn was watching her closely.

“He told me he loved me,” she whispered. “Shortly after that last skirmish on Lowry.” She looked up, feeling the tears well in her eyes once more. “I told him I didn’t love him. That I couldn’t. I have so much to do, so much to think about. Love and sex and babies weren’t in my plans.”

“You lied.” It wasn’t a question.

Rey shook her head. “It wasn’t a lie. Not really.” She frowned at him. “I…” She sighed. “I need to focus on the future of the Jedi.”

“Uh-huh,” Finn muttered. “At the expense of your own future?”

“The Jedi are my future,” she snapped.

Poe’s laughter could be heard once more and they both looked at the couple across the way.

“She makes him laugh,” Rey whispered. “He needs to laugh. He deserves to be happy after all he’s been through. I’ve never made him laugh like that.”

“You’re jealous,” Finn responded softly.

Rey scoffed. “Of Poe being happy?”

He shook his head. “No. Of Peppa.”

“I don’t have the right to be jealous,” Rey told him firmly. “He tried to give me his heart and I threw it back at him.” She felt the familiar anger and remorse fill her. “I don’t deserve him.” She stood suddenly, picking up her tray. “The next seminar will be starting soon.” She headed out of the hall.

Not noticing how Poe’s eyes followed her out from across the room.

******

Life went back to normal after she returned to Ajan Kloss. Or so she tried to tell herself. While many of the Resistance heroes had either gone back to their homes and families after the war, or taken positions with the new government being established on Naboo, many had stayed on Ajan Kloss.

A small community had arisen on the site of the former Resistance base. Named Temmin in honor of “Snap” Wexley, who had died at the Battle of Exegol, the little village had grown significantly in the last year since the war had officially ended. Many of the rehabilitated stormtroopers that Finn, Janah, and Rose had been helping had settled there, and Finn and Rose kept a little house there as well, although they were off-world more often than not. Poe had also had a little house built near his friends, but unlike Finn, he had taken on no responsibilities since his resignation as General of the Resistance, though the current government had tried on several occasions to get him to take a position with the War Department. He had refused every offer. Occasionally he spoke of moving back to his home world of Yavin IV, where his father still lived, and settling down there, but as yet he had not given any indication he was actually going to do it. Though he had met Peppa before the conference, they had gotten much closer during his visit to Naboo, and since then he had made more visits to the planet. Peppa also made occasional trips to Ajan Kloss. It was always in an ‘official’ capacity, as she travelled with Ajan Kloss’ new Representative Cher Nublay. But while the older woman stayed in the small hostel recently built in the center of the village, Peppa stayed with Poe.

Rey never slept well during Peppa’s visits, her mind struggling to not think about Poe and the woman who had been smart enough to let him into her heart.

Rey still lived in the caves she had shared with Leia before Exegol, though they had been modified with more modern amenities now that they weren’t in hiding. The entrance looked down onto the village proper, including the front door of Poe’s house. Rey did her best to avoid looking in that direction whenever she knew Peppa was on-world, but it was hard to avoid them completely in such a small community.

On this early morning, three months after the conference and her talk with Finn, Rey made her way toward the communications center attached to the hostel. She was planning to send a communique to a potential student and her mother. Though Rey had not established an official school, she had taken the time to work with several young Force-sensitive children. She had not decided yet when or where she planned to start a training center, but she still wanted to reach out to these young people who were looking for help.

She passed Poe’s house but refused to look at it. Though she and Poe had still managed to maintain a polite familiarity with each other, they only really interacted when Finn was on-world. Finn (and BB-8, if she were honest) was the glue that bonded them, and he wouldn’t let them forget it, making sure the three of them (and Rose when she was inclined) shared regular meals with each other. During one of those occasions, Peppa had been there, and though Rey felt she and Finn were both very cordial to her, there was a tension among them that just wouldn’t go away. Rey had ended her part of the evening early, claiming a migraine, leaving as politely as she could. She swore she could feel Poe’s eyes on her back all the way to her door.

This morning as she made her way through the village, she remembered that Peppa was supposed to be heading back to Naboo today, and sure enough, as she entered the main doors of the hostel, she saw Peppa and Cher heading her way. Not wanting to deal with the tense small-talk she knew was inevitable with the two women, Rey quickly ducked into the doorway that led to the comms room. As she did so, she heard Cher speaking to Peppa.

“So, why are you so cheery this morning, other than the fact that you’re coming from Poe Dameron’s bed?”

Rey winced.

“I finally did it,” Peppa answered, a smile in her voice. “I’ve finally convinced him to come back to Naboo with me to stay.”

Poe was leaving?

“Really?” Cher answered. “Wasn’t he talking about going back to Yavin and making babies a while back?”

Peppa snorted. “Like I’m ever gonna have kids.”

“Will he take the position with the War Department?”

“He hasn’t completely agreed to that, yet,” Peppa continued. “But he’s considering it. The Chancellor is going to be thrilled! She never thought this would work.”

“Well, I’m sure it hasn’t been a hardship for you.”

“Of course not,” Peppa giggled. “Trust me, he’s as good in bed as he is in a fighter.”

Rey felt her face heat in both anger and embarrassment. With a huff, she turned and stepped back through the doorway.

“Do you mean to tell me this was a job? That your plan was to seduce Poe into taking that position with the government?”

Both women stepped back, eyes wide. Peppa’s already pale face turned even more white. “Master Skywalker!”

“Don’t you know what he’s been through? He wants peace and quiet. He wants a partner whom he trusts and kids of his own, either by birth or adoption. How did you convince him to do this?”

Cher looked at Peppa, a worried look on her face, but the younger woman had collected herself and stepped forward to face Rey. “He knows how important he is to us, how much power and influence he’ll have in Theed.” She looked Rey up and down. “And he wants to get away from you.” There was a sneer in her voice.

Rey stepped back this time, knowing the woman’s hurtful words were most likely true; she and Poe were never going to have the relationship they once had before he had confessed his love to her and she turned him away. He would be happier away from her.

But he wouldn’t be happy on Naboo, she was sure of it. “Don’t make him do this,” she pleaded. “If you really love him, don’t make him go back to the military.”

Peppa gave a sharp laugh. “Who said anything about love?” she snapped. “Sure, he’s great in bed, but I’m not looking for anything permanent. I’ll be there long enough to make sure you and Finn stay out of his life and he settles into his new position. Once he gets a taste of that kind of power, he’ll never leave.”

“Excuse me?”

Rey turned to see Poe standing in the doorway to the outside. There was anger in his expression, but underneath was the same devastation she had seen on his face when she had told him she would never fall in love. Her heart ached. How much had he heard?

“Poe!” Peppa said, a bright smile on her face. A smile Rey now knew was a mask. “What are you doing here? I thought you wanted to sleep in this morning?”

His brows furrowed, Poe glanced at Rey, then looked back at Peppa. “I couldn’t sleep and decided to come see you off.” He swallowed harshly and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “It’s a good thing I did.”

For a moment, Peppa seemed speechless, and Rey could tell that her brain was working fast to come up with a way to salvage this situation.

But Rey’s anger only grew. How dare this woman lead Poe on like this. While she herself had let him down with her refusal all those months ago, that was still far better than what this woman had been doing, letting him believe she loved him and wanted a future with him. Poe Dameron had always been a man who gave everything of himself to whatever and whomever he loved. He had his heart ripped to shreds far too many times, whether by death or betrayal, and Rey had had enough. She could not see this amazing man suffer anymore. She took a step toward Peppa.

“I suggest you get your deceiving Naboolian ass onto your shuttle, Administrator Dellia, and leave this place.” She tilted her head and lowered her voice. “And don’t ever come back.”

The woman’s chin lifted in defiance, but Rey could see the fear in her blue eyes. She stepped back and looked at Poe, her expression pleading. “Poe..?”

He shook his head, his face, dark with his morning beard stubble, was like stone. “Go.”

Rey may not have wanted to like Peppa from day one, but she would never say the woman was stupid, and she was proven correct when Peppa stepped back and picked up the bag she had sitting on the ground. She knew it was too late to defend herself. “The offer is always open, Poe,” she told him, but Poe’s expression didn’t change. He simply stepped aside, giving her access to the door. Peppa nodded and walked out, Cher following, her expression remorseful and nervous.

Rey watched them go, then looked at Poe. He stood staring at nothing for a brief moment, then he turned on his heel and headed out the door, never looking at Rey. BB-8, who had been hanging around outside the building, twittered at Rey, then turned and followed Poe. The droid’s ‘I never liked her’ comment should have made Rey smile, but it only made her more angry. BB-8 loved everybody and he was as honest as could be, so either he had been keeping his opinion to himself so as to not hurt Poe, or Poe had ignored him.

Taking a deep breath, Rey looked at her chrono and realized she was late for her call. She stepped into the comms room and sat at the desk and shook out her hands, trying to settle her nerves. Her heart still felt like it was being squeezed inside her chest. She would make this call as quick as she could and then go check on Poe. Finn and Rose were off-world and she didn’t want him to be alone. He may not consider her a great friend anymore, but she would do what she could to support him through this.

Forty minutes later, she was headed for Poe’s little house. The sun was high, but rain clouds were already forming in the west, as was typical for this time of year on Ajan Kloss. She was hoping to run the training course this afternoon, but she would hold off on that depending on what she found with Poe. Maybe she could talk him into going hiking or something. Anything to get his mind off of Peppa.

When she arrived at his house, the door was open. She knocked on the frame and peered inside. The little abode was sparsely furnished, with no decorations or mementos on the walls; it had been less than a year since the war’s end, and knowing Poe had never been planning to stay here long she wasn’t surprised at the bare interior, but it still made her sad. Poe had so little after the war, and obviously hadn’t felt comfortable enough to start accumulating personal items yet.

He still wasn’t home.

She walked toward the open bedroom door, passing BB-8 who was swaying back and forth nervously just outside. The droid looked at her, and Rey could almost imagine a pleading look on his ‘face.’ She stepped into the doorway and saw Poe throwing what few belongings he had into a travel bag. Her heart clenched. He couldn’t possibly be thinking of going after Peppa?

“Where are you going?” she asked softly.

His movements were angry, his expression intense. He barely looked up at her question, not stopping. “I’m going home. To Yavin.” He turned and grabbed the two holos he had from the bedstand: his parents were on one and she, Finn, and Poe from right after the Battle of Exegol were on the other. Rey loved that holo; she had one herself. “I should have gone months ago,” he added in a harsh whisper.

“Why didn’t you?” Rey couldn’t help but ask.

He stopped what he was doing and looked at her fully for the first time. He stared at her, and Rey was unsettled by the agony she saw in his gaze. “Do you really have to ask?” he said softly, the pain in his expression transferring to his voice.

He’d stayed because of her.

He looked away and continued to pack. “I always knew you never needed me. Never. But some stupid part of me wanted to be here in case you did. To support you. To make sure the new government didn’t manipulate you in any way. To keep the ‘future of the Jedi’ safe.” He scoffed. “How could I be so stupid?” He shook his head. “And then I tried to use Peppa to forget you. Maybe even hoping it would make you jealous. I’m such an idiot.”

Rey bit her lower lip and let her body fall softly against the doorframe so that she was leaning against it. “I was jealous,” she said without any anger. “I was horribly jealous.”

Poe stopped and looked at her, a sad sort of shocked expression on his face.

“She made you laugh.”

Poe swallowed harshly. “And you made me cry,” he reminded her. “You don’t see me crying now, do you?”

Rey tilted her head. “What do you mean?

“It means that while Peppa might have been faking her feelings for me, maybe I was faking mine for her, too,” Poe said. “I wanted to love her. But the idea of taking her home to meet my father?” He shook his head. “No. The thought of waking with her every single day of my life? Not a pleasant thought, really. And imagining her pregnant with my child?” He snorted. “I always knew she despised children.” He paused, focusing on her again. “You, on the other hand, I’ve pictured all of that with you.

“I never really loved Peppa. She may have damaged my pride, but you’re the one who broke my heart.”

Rey felt sorrow envelope her. She dropped her eyes to the floor.

“The thing is,” Poe continued. “It wouldn’t hurt so much if I truly believed you didn’t care.”

Startled, Rey lifted her gaze to him once more, but he wasn’t looking at her. He closed up his bag and hefted it off the bed. “Karè will find someone to take over this house,” he told her matter-of-factly. “There are enough people wanting to settle here now, she’ll have no trouble. I’ll message Finn and let him know where I’m going.” He angled his body and sidled past her, heading for the outer door. Stunned, Rey turned to watch him.

Poe stopped just before leaving, then turned to look at BB-8, who had started following him out.

“Beebs, stay with Rey. Take care of her for me.”

Then he was gone.

Rey should have gone after him, but her body seemed frozen, her feet glued to the floor, tears running down her cheeks.

He hadn’t even said goodbye.

******

The droid socket in Red Five was not made to fit a BB Unit. More modern X-Wings had sockets that were adjustable, but not the old T-65. It took two days for Rey to make the necessary changes that would allow BB-8 to ride in the socket, but she was in no rush. It had been almost two weeks since Poe had left Ajan Kloss, so there was no hurry now that Rey was determined to follow him. She suspected the time alone would be good for him anyway.

But not too much time.

Two days after Poe left Ajan Kloss, Finn and Rose returned. Poe’s very short message informing Finn that he was going ‘home’ and that ‘BB-8 is with Rey’ and nothing else had confused him, and he had changed his mind about going to Ajan Kloss or Yavin first to find out what was going on several times. After finally setting course for Ajan Kloss, he had begun panicking about making the wrong decision, but he comforted himself with the fact that Rey was most likely still there and would have the answers he needed.

So, it was left to Rey to tell Finn all that had happened in just one hour’s time.

“I’m going to Yavin to talk to him,” she told her friend. “But I wanted to give him a few days. And me,” she added wryly.

“What are you going to say to him?” Finn asked. He had admitted upon his arrival that he had been worried about Poe for a while. Seeing his friend aimless and undecided about his future after so many years of emotional and physical turmoil had scared him; he had witnessed several of the stormtroopers that had come seeking asylum have mental breakdowns as they recalled their horrifying past and uncertain futures, some of them taking their own lives in their depression.

Rey had paused after Finn’s question, eyes downcast. Finally, she had focused on her best and first friend. “I’m going to tell him the truth,” she whispered.

“That you love him?”

Rey nodded. “I’m partially to blame for this, all because I was too scared to admit how I really felt.” She took a deep breath. “It’s probably too late. He most likely gave up on me months ago, but I can’t let him believe he’s alone. That all he’s good for now that the war is over is a symbol of those that defeated the First Order. A mascot for the new government’s war department.” She paused. “He and I are both still drifting with the tide, I think. Maybe we can help each other reach shore.”

Finn wished her luck and told her to message him as soon as she had news; he would come to Yavin himself when things settled, unless she thought she would need his help sooner. “Just let me know.”

Finally, the modifications on Red Five were done, and Rey was packed and ready to go.

“Will you be coming back?” Karè asked.

“I don’t know,” Rey told her honestly. “I don’t know what’s going to happen or where I might end up.” She smiled. “I’ve been so focused on the future I think I’m supposed to have that I haven’t been listening to what the Force wants me to do. I need to change that.”

“Let me know what both of you decide,” Karè told her with a hug. “And I’m not gonna lie. I hope whatever happens, you and Poe do it together.”

Rey looked startled as she pulled out of the older woman’s embrace.

“Nobody here liked Peppa,” Karè smiled. “We’ve always thought you and Poe were meant for each other. Snap even had bets riding on it back in the day.”

Rey laughed in combined shock and relief. While she could admit now that she had always been attracted to the pilot, she had never known anyone else had noticed.

Finally, she and BB-8 were in the air, and within minutes Red Five took them to hyperspace.

“I’m going to meditate for a while,” she told the droid. It was more than a five-hour trip to Yavin IV.

BB-8 tootled a question.

“Oh, I know he’ll be thrilled to see you. I’m sure he misses you like the blazes.” She paused. “It’s me I’m worried about. I’ll just have to play it by ear.”

The flight took forever and yet was not long enough. When she pulled the X-Wing out of hyperspace and came face to face with the gas giant Yavin for the first time, her heart started racing. She had heard so many stories of this place from Poe during the war; he absolutely loved to talk about his home, his father, his late mother, and their history with the Rebellion. She had longed even then to visit, but had always felt uncomfortable doing so without an invitation from Poe. And he most likely would have eventually invited her, had she not pushed him away all those months ago.

Now she was here, and she was quite sure he would not be too happy about it.

She followed the coordinates to Wetyin’s Colony, the largest settlement on Yavin IV, and was quickly awed when the Massassi temples came into view, standing tall and intimidating over the jungle surrounding them. There was no flight control as not enough ships flew in and out of the Yavin IV airspace, but she knew without a doubt that she was under scrutiny by the Planetary Defense Force. A handful of humans and Duros gathered around the public landing field as she landed, curiosity and wariness on their faces. It was obvious not many strangers visited this place.

She pulled herself out of the X-Wing, jumping lightly to the ground, and then rather self-consciously used the Force to assist BB-8 down. While she had modified the socket to fit him, the ship still didn’t have a way for the droid to get himself in and out of it. She saw the group murmur among themselves, probably recognizing her thanks to her use of the Force, and a couple nodded at BB-8, recognizing him, too. As Rey collected her bag out of the storage compartment in the ship’s belly, most of them wandered away. One human, a grey-haired man, stayed.

As she and BB-8 walked over to him he nodded at her. “Rey Skywalker, I presume?” He smiled at the droid at her side. “We were wondering where you were, BB-8. Poe didn’t tell us you’d become a Jedi sidekick.”

Rey couldn’t help but smile at the man’s comment while BB-8 twittered at the man happily. At the man’s raised eyebrow, Rey translated. “He says he loves being my sidekick, but he wishes his friend Poe was with us as well.”

The man nodded and reached out to shake her hand, his expression pleasant and welcoming. “I’m going to guess that’s why you’re here?” he asked as Rey took his hand. “Nevil Polath, Mayor of Wetyin’s Colony. Welcome, Jedi Skywalker.”

“Thank you,” Rey responded. “And yes, I am here to see Poe. Whether BB-8 will get his wish, I don’t know, yet.” As BB-8 looked back and forth between her and Nevil, she asked, “Can you give me directions to the Dameron’s?”

“I’ll do you one better,” Nevil said. “I’ll take you there myself.”

Rey shouldered her bag and followed him to his speeder, hoping she wasn’t presuming too much by bringing it. She decided that even if Poe didn’t want her here, his father would probably think differently. Though she had never met Kes Dameron, by all accounts he sounded very much like his son in personality, only he had no reason to be mad at her. She hoped.

It was a good thirty-minute speeder drive through the jungle to the Dameron homestead, but Rey enjoyed the ride, absorbed with the beautiful green wilderness surrounding them. Nevil stayed silent for most of the trip, but as they neared their destination, he looked at her seriously and asked, “Is your visit going to help or hinder Poe?”

Rey looked at him, surprised by the question. “I’m here to help him,” she said. “But I may not be able to.”

He nodded solemnly. “He never comes into town,” he continued. “We wouldn’t have even known he was back if his father hadn’t said something while he was getting supplies. A few of us went out to visit him. He wasn’t rude or mean, but it was pretty obvious he didn’t want company.” He was silent for a while. “War can do a lot of damage to a person, and I’m not talking about physically.”

Rey simply nodded, more anxious than ever to see Poe.

Finally, they were there. The little house was beautiful, comfortably large without being oversized, and surrounded by bushes with bright flowers of every color. A man stepped out as Nevil stopped the speeder, his expression curious. BB-8 bounced out of the speeder and rushed toward him, and the man smiled broadly at him.

“BB-8! You made it!”

Though an inch or two taller than his son, Kes Dameron’s brown eyes and heavy brows were just like Poe’s. His hair was mostly grey and was missing the curls, but the way he moved and greeted the ball droid were so familiar to her, she knew she would have recognized this man without ever being told who he was.

Rey stepped out of the speeder and thanked Nevil. The man waved at Kes, then drove away as Kes waved back. Kes faced Rey and his smile faded as he tilted his head and looked at her. “So, you’re the Jedi.” His expression was serious now, his voice thoughtful.

Rey looked back at him. “So, you’re the father.”

She saw the elder Dameron’s mouth twitch, then he stopped resisting and gave her a wry smile. “I’ve been waiting for you. He’s convinced you wouldn’t come, but I knew you would.”

Rey’s heart started racing. “Where is he?”

Kes nodded his head, glancing over his shoulder. “In the house. Where he’s been ever since he got here. Been trying to get him out to help me in the fields. Figured the fresh air and physical work would help clear his head, but he won’t budge. I’m about ready to stick him with an electroshock prod.”

Rey winced. “Somehow I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

Kes laughed suddenly. “You’re probably right.” He became serious once more. “I really hope you can pull him out of this.”

She shrugged. “I’m part of the reason he’s like this, but I want to try and fix it.”

Kes nodded, his expression contemplative. Then he looked down at BB-8. “Beebs, let’s go check out the irrigation pump. It’s been getting clogged a lot lately. Maybe you can help me figure out why.” As BB-8 toodled an affirmative, Kes looked back at Rey. “This may take the rest of the afternoon.” He had one eyebrow raised in a familiar expression that looked so very much like his son. “Good luck.”

With that, he and BB-8 headed to the side of the house where an old, beat-up speeder sat. Rey watched in disbelief as the two drove off, leaving her alone in front of the house. She shook her head, then took a deep breath and headed inside. The front room was a sitting room, with a couple of comfortable looking chairs and a couch. Several holos sat on top of the mantle of a large fireplace, and Rey itched to look closer at them. As soon as the door closed behind her, Poe’s voice came from a room off to the right.

“I don’t want visitors, dad, so whoever it is can just go home.”

“Too late,” Rey called back to him. “I’m already here.”

Poe appeared in the doorway, his eyes wide. “Rey!” His hair was mussed and his face sported a beard that indicated he hadn’t shaved since coming home. He was dressed in loose fitting slacks and a soft looking white button-down. His feet were bare. “What are you doing here?”

“I brought BB-8 home,” she said with a smirk.

He frowned, then looked behind her.

“Oh, your dad already stole him for some job that I’m sure isn’t really necessary right now, but he was using it as an excuse to leave us alone for a while.”

Poe stared at her for a moment, then he suddenly burst out laughing.

Rey felt shivers run up her spine. The good kind. She smiled at him, shaking her head in amazement.

Poe caught his breath, then tilted his head at her. “What’s that look for?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you laugh like that from something I’ve said.”

He folded his arms in front of his chest and leaned on the doorframe. “I don’t think you realize how often you made me feel joy. Even when we were bickering, I was having fun.”

“Really?” she asked softly.

“Really.” He took a deep breath. “What are you really doing here, Rey?”

She swallowed nervously. Now or never. “I came to tell you how much I love you.” She watched as his eyes widened. “How much I miss you,” she continued. “I came to make sure you understood why I felt like I had to lie to you, and to apologize for doing so. I… I came because I want you in my life, Poe.”

She sighed heavily, then set down her bag and moved to sit on one of the chairs. “I’ve been so confused about what I want in my life. For so long I was convinced I had to be alone, that to become a real Jedi I had to isolate myself from the people I loved. I had this vision of my future, and it didn’t include a lover or children.” She shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe my relationship with Ben messed with my head. Maybe I thought that because he was gone, the Dyad destroyed, that I was meant to be alone.”

Poe moved further into the room, sitting down on the couch and watching her intently. “Did you love him?”

Rey met his gaze. “I didn’t know him well enough to love him,” she said honestly. “I loved the idea of him. The idea of someone who knew me better than I knew myself, and who loved me unconditionally. Someone who would never abandon me. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I already had that, in you and Finn and Chewie. I had the family I spent so very long waiting for.”

Poe nodded, but his expression was sad. “I understand.”

“I don’t think you do,” she argued. “Not completely. You see, when you came to me to tell me how you felt, I had already convinced myself that romance wasn’t a part of that family. That all of you looked at me like I was your little sister. That my… daydreams about you were fantasies that were never meant to come true, and that as a Jedi, I couldn’t have more anyway. And then you told me you were in love with me, and I got scared and pushed you away as hard as I could. I almost felt that if I told you I felt the same, that I would be breaking some great galactic Jedi rule.” She couldn’t help but laugh as she said it out loud, and Poe smiled back at her.

“On the flight here, I had a lot of time to think, a lot of time to let the Force direct me instead of trying to direct it. And I know for a fact that it wants me here.”

Poe huffed a laugh. “That’s probably the Uneti tree talking.”

“The what?”

“The Force tree I told you about…”

Rey shook her head. “No, no, no! It’s no tree I’m drawn to, Poe. It’s you. You’re the one who knows me inside and out, the one who loves me unconditionally, the one the Force wants me to be with.”

“Rey…” He was shaking his head.

“Damnit, Poe,” she said, standing. “I’m telling you I’m in love with you. That I have been since before the war ended. That it scares the hell out of me but that being without you for the rest of my life scares me even more. If you started dating Peppa to make me jealous, well it worked. And if you don’t care for me that way anymore, then it would be poetic justice for me, turning you down and letting you think I didn’t care all those months ago. It would serve me right…”

Poe stood suddenly and moved over to her. He grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her in close to him. “Rey, shut up,” he told her with a smirk.

Then he kissed her.

******

Rey didn’t quite remember how they got to Poe’s bedroom, but she was very aware that he never stopped touching her on the journey. She remembered an unmade bed and a dresser with his holos on top of it, including one she had never seen before. It looked like… she wasn’t sure, but she thought it was a holo of her and Leia. She would have to look closer. Later.

Much later.

Her full attention was now on the man touching her. How he tentatively helped ease her tunic off over her head. How his lips and tongue, warm and wet, mapped out the skin on her jaw and neck, and how her whole body seemed to vibrate when he traveled lower and began to suckle gently on her breasts. His beard tickled her skin as he continued to explore her with his mouth, pushing her gently onto that unmade bed and tugging her trousers off along with her boots. By the time he reached her core, she was ready to explode. Never had she wanted a man to touch her this way. Never had she imagined it would feel like this. A combination of euphoria and excitement flowed through her as his fingers joined his tongue, teasing her until she felt her thighs tremor uncontrollably.

Her vision darkened, then exploded into a bright kaleidoscope of color as her body bucked up and her back bowed. Her fingers were buried in the curls on his head and she realized when she was able to focus again that she was gripping him tight. He didn’t seem to mind. A dazzling smile appeared on his face as he looked up at her. “That was kriffing amazing!”

Rey felt as if her whole body was overheating. She rubbed her cheeks as she looked at her lover. “You have too many clothes on,” she told him, her voice husky. His grin never left his face as he pulled his shirt off and reached for the belt of his trousers. Rey watched in fascination as he exposed himself completely, aroused and ready for her. Almost instinctively, she spread her legs, inviting him where no man had been before.

He accepted her invitation with gratitude in his eyes, and as his hips slowly worked into a delightfully steady rhythm, his strokes long and deep, Rey felt a gratitude of her own that she was finally where she truly belonged. As he moved harder and faster, her body once more reached for rapture. This time, the bright colored lights included the shape of the man above her, and the feeling of his own release spilling into her, its warmth seeming to fill every empty place in her soul, caused another feeling of ecstasy to flow through her.

She may have screamed.

Afterwards, her body still trembling as her heart slowed down to normal once more, she felt tears of joy fill her eyes, and she didn’t bother to stop a joyous laugh as she reached up to wipe away similar tears from Poe’s cheeks. Eventually, they stilled, holding each other tight, as if afraid by letting go the other would disappear into the Force.

Rey slept, or maybe she was just so content time seemed to have no meaning, but she came alert when a familiar beeping could be heard from the other side of the door.

“Just a moment, BB-8,” Poe said as he reached for the unused blankets, drawing them up to cover their naked bodies. “Okay, you can come in.”

The bedroom door opened and BB-8 rolled in, Rey’s bag gripped in his servo arm. His photoreceptor focused on them intently, and Rey could almost swear he was smiling. He trilled at them, asking if he should take Rey’s bag to the guest room or leave it here.

“Leave it here,” Poe said softly.

The droid set the bag down and started rolling back out of the room, informing them that Master Kes would have dinner on in an hour, but that it could be warmed up later if they chose to skip tonight.

“Thank you, Beebs,” Poe said. “And welcome home.”

As BB-8 rolled out of the room, closing the door behind him, he was singing a happy little song that Rey had never heard before.

“I think he approves,” she said with a grin.

Poe just nodded, then brought a hand up to tuck her hair behind her ear. “Stay,” he whispered.

“I think we just determined I was,” Rey told him, nodding toward her bag.

“I mean stay here. On Yavin. With me.” He took a deep breath. “I don’t know when you want to start training others, or even if you want to, but I think Yavin IV is the perfect place to do it.”

Rey lifted herself up on her elbow and looked down on him. “And what will you do?” she asked softly.

“I’ve already been informed… more than once… that the Yavin Planetary Defense needs more pilots. And that Aluna Anima, the director, is retiring soon.” He shrugged. “And I’m sure my father would love some help here on the farm; he’s not getting any younger.”

“And children?”

“I want them,” he said honestly. “But only if you do, too.”

Rey gave him a tentative smile. “I do. Just… not right away.”

Poe smiled back at her. “Whenever you’re ready.”

“Well, I best not wait too long,” she grinned. “You’re not getting any younger, either.” She reached up and ran her fingers through his beard, noting the few strands of grey already visible.

“Hey!” he exclaimed, grabbing her hand and moving his body over hers, pinning her to the bed. They wrestled playfully, trying to tickle each other, laughing.

After a moment, Rey stopped, staring up at him wistfully. “I love making you laugh,” she told him. “I want to do it every day, for the rest of our lives.”

Poe smiled and stroked her cheek with a finger. “I look forward to it.”

THE END